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I think the difference with poly is scale. Maybe you do this with serial monogamy once every few months to a year (although hopefully eventually you stop serially dating and get married). With polyamory it's a problem (everything) everywhere all at once. You are always looking for new relationships and defining boundaries with new partners. It sounds like it fucking sucks, and I'm not sure why anyone would voluntarily participate unless they were a sociopath.
Its not a real question I'd ever ask, but yeah, what's the 'win condition' of Poly these days?
For monogamy, I'd suggest "have kids, raise them to adulthood, assist them in getting partners, help raise your grandkids, then live out the rest of your life in peace knowing you've got a secure legacy" is the path to 'victory.'
With Poly, there's never a (non-arbitrary) point when you can say you're 'done' and you can declare the relationships 'complete.' You always have the potential of adding or subtracting members, changing up the dynamics, and if kids enter the picture at all then what do you do? Do you just accept that you will be involved in an ever-changing dynamic up until the day you die?
The objective of Poly seems to be expending effort to maintain or develop the Polycule itself. I'd argue the objective of mono marriage is to create a concrete and meaningful platform on which you can build the other aspects of your life.
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