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Culture War Roundup for the week of May 12, 2025

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There is little to be gained by a man expressing transient physical discomfort. If you have a reputation for toughness, you can express mild preferences in limited circumstances - rarely in the moment - and it must always be clear that you can perform when needed.

Why do you accept such a strict gender role?

This kind of ‘holding frame’ game seems pretty exhausting, I really don’t think most women don’t care if a man says fuck it just got cold, as long as he isn’t whining about it for the rest of the day and just goes into a store to buy a sweater.

Some women insist that the man pay for things on a date, some women legitimately don't care and some women lie about which category they are in.

Nobody is penalizing you if you just pay so that is the best strategy, especially since nobody knows the ratios of the above.

Same thing goes for a lot of dating norms.

Addendum: You never sit in the car because it’s too hot or too cold if a tire needs changing. But you also don't want to be a tough guy to the point of becoming a liability. Being prepared is a finer line, and you can definitely cross into being an overly equipped “EDC Boy Scout” dork.

A story: Late this winter, we went to a cabin with a group of friends. An admittedly complicated snowfall occurred the night before we were set to leave. A friend ended up putting his car in a ditch. Trying to be a “tough guy” (in reality, embarrassed and rushing), he refused to wear a jacket, attempting to dig out the car, hook up pull straps, and put on chains in just a t-shirt. He started shaking uncontrollably, his hands stopped working, and I had to yell at him to get back in his car to warm up. He then sat there as my wife and I did the grunt work to get his car to the highway.