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Oh hey, yet another opportunity to make a "my wife" post. Here I go.
My wife, who naturally is a feminist, is occasionally reasonable, but often keeps snapping back to this position. Subsequently, anything that I do not do, whether it involves parenting, household, paperwork or "mental work" or "emotional labor" or whatever the latest pop-sci terminology is, is a failing on my part. I should be doing everything, so that she is free to pursue her dreams and therapies so that she can become the breadwinner by becoming a well-selling author of books or some other pipe-dream. My working a decently-paying white-collar job while expecting her to pull her weight is me chaining us to a less-than-perfect state in which we cannot fulfill our true potential. As long as she is not given a little paradise to exist in, free of cares, anything is an imposition upon her and I am falling short.
Doesn't matter whether I do all the earning, all the driving, any task that involves leaving the house, part-time parenting on regular days and full-day parenting on weekends (if I fall asleep by mid-Sunday, she graciously takes over by plopping our daughter down in front of the TV). That's par for the course. That's just taken for granted. What kind of man would I be to do any less, or to expect gratitude for this? OTOH, if she can't be assed to set an alarm clock and considers playing video games for a full day adequate compensation for having cooked a meal, then well, she's just aware of her needs and limitations, I cannot possibly demand more of her, don't I know she has anxieties and panic attacks and slept poorly and had a bellyache from eating a full meal and sweets at midnight. By the way, I didn't remember to do the laundry yesterday and went to bed immediately after our daughter fell asleep instead of being available for couple time, so I am the asshole.
Disclaimer: My wife also has her good days sometimes, but those would get in the way of a good wifepost rant. Maybe I should try to quantify this kind of stuff.
was she like that when you married her?
I guess so.
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