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Minor historical point first, on your traducing of Russians' treatment of conquered peoples. It was by far the least harmful to those they conquered of any European power. The thing to remember about Russia is that it's a European country with its entire imperial possessions still 90% intact, and attached contiguously as the country streches east from its European heartlands. To see what would have befallen American indigenes under Moscow's cruel fist, look at Kamchatka today. People who are not ethnically Russian are a majority of the population east of the Urals, and their relative position to the dominant ethny is inestimably better than that of American indigenes, who are a sad and broken people.
Notably among Europeans, Germanics (of whom Anglos are a subset) have the taste for genocide in conquest. Spain, France and Russia tended to integrate conquered people to varying degrees, and the Dutch kept them entirely separate to the point of weird indifference.
Second important point: a huge tension you don't seem to have noticed here:
Okay, fair enough, but then:
"All's fair in love and war". If you're claiming groups that lost out historically should just accept it, how can you consistently criticise graft against your own group today? Either all conduct is fair or it isn't. "Oh no, using disease and a much higher population to swamp natives was great and mighty when Euro colonists did it back when, but it's pathetic and underhanded when other groups use the same techniques against us". How the hell can out-diseasing and out-breeding indigenous Americans be kosher, but non-whites doing, what, lawsuits and subversion of your institutions is verboten?
Considering you were ostensibly opposing whining, "it's not fair when they do it to us" sounds a lot like, well...
The Circassians would beg to differ, as would all the peoples in the westernmost part of the Russian Empire, namely, Poles, Balts and Ukrainians. This is only referring to the Russian Empire, not including the Soviet Union, which I suppose could be classified as a Russian empire. The reason why the natives east of the Urals were largely unmolested is that they didn't cause much trouble (as the Circassians did) and that the Russians were not particularly interested in the freezing tundra where the main industry was reindeer herding.
The title of "the least harmful to those they conquered" easily belongs to Austria. Again, referring only to the Habsburgs, not, ahem, any other empire controlled by an Austrian.
Austria is Germanic, as are the Dutch who you yourself mentioned. The German Empire was generally more brutal overall, though the only notable genocide they committed was the one in Namibia. I'm not aware of any genocides in the British Empire (overseas), unless you count the ludicrously one-sided battles against natives.
Spain and France both had highly assimilatory policies, which their subjects were not generally keen on; see, for example, the ETA and the Algerian War. Forcible assimilation is also referred to as "cultural genocide" by, for example, the Canadian government. The only empires with a policy of integration rather than assimilation were Austria (though not Hungary) and the UK (excluding the British Isles, where their policy ranged from cultural genocide to genocide full stop).
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There's no tension at all, you're reading that into what I'm saying. You can simultaneously believe "all's fair in love and war" and "I find this particular tactic cowardly and dishonorable." Pearl Harbor was simultaneously a distasteful sneak attack (IMO) while being totally "fair."
Maybe the confusion is in the meaning of the word "fair" in "all's fair in love and war?" To me it means everything is possible, not that everything is morally equivalent. In fact, people seem to mostly invoke the phrase when does something shocking and morally dubious.
If your point is that American settlers did fair but dishonorable things at some point in the multi-century settlement of north America, then, well, yes of course, the number of people and the length of time mean that the odds were very high that things like that would happen. When American settlers pretended to give blankets as a gesture of goodwill that were actually carrying contagious diseases, or when they broke treaties and suddenly attacked peaceful natives, they were acting dishonorably and disgracefully. But most of the conflict was not like that. Hostilities were often open and direct.
Re. Russia's treatment of indigenous people, is that really a fair comparison? I don't think Russians want to live in, settle, develop, and convert Kamchatka into a core part of Russian civilization. Most of the Russian Far East seems to me to still be much more like a territory than actual "Russian land." It's a similar contrast as that between, say, Massachusetts and Alaska. Alaskan natives seem to be doing a lot better than the tribes of New England, many of whom no longer even exist. I think you'd need to look at how indigenous people who lived in Western Russia were treated.
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