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Several times now, I've had text conversations with women where they seem to scare themselves off.
One kept pushing me to ask her sexual compatibility questions, which I answered as delicately and dryly as I could. She'd rave excessively about how attractive I was and how she's looking forward to seeing me again (we met once, briefly, and she tracked me down on social). Since I know it's a bad idea to build up a date this much and set sexual implications, I complemented her back but kept it light and fun.
Then the day of the date, suddenly a co-worker got fired and she has to work a double. Also "You're not expecting sex for this meeting, are you?" Well no, I was not, despite everything you've said being suggestive of that, because I was going to take it slow. I reply "Light canoodling at most." There's mutual availability tuesday, and thursday, but she suggests thursday, mentioning "she'd like more planning, usually." Now I haven't heard anything from her since.
Before this, the shape of the exact same thing happened. She started talking as though she was already assuming we'd be in a relationship with her "adding spice to my life and shaking things up." This is way, WAY more than I'd typically send when I haven't even met someone in person, it assumes too much. Then suddenly she was astronomically ill from "allergies," which continued for several days, her apparently being home from work, yet replying less than when she was at work, until I stopped texting.
I want people to turn up for an in-person date. I very carefully don't say things that create too much pressure or assume things about compatibility, because it comes off as pressuring and dishonest ("OMG I'm so into you" ...we haven't actually met yet, miss, maybe save that for after the first date). But then they themselves do that exact thing, bail the day before.
Fucking everything I do is tiptoeing around not triggering anyone's anxiety so as not to be treated as a threat, then they trigger their OWN anxieties, treat me like a threat, and presumably pat themselves on the back for having spotted a manipulative predator who was Only After One Thing.
What the fuck is going on here?
When I interact with someone in real life, I get really confused and anxious whenever they start praising me. Then they get confused as to why. This is why. Because whenever someone gives me unprompted compliments or raves about me, they swiftly ditch me, which is why I don't believe what anyone says anymore.
You never know what's going on in this woman's life. Just as women can smell desperation, so can you and I. And desperation makes people neurotic. And neurotic people can act very unpredictably. The "You're not expecting sex" line was enough of a warning signal to set my alarm off. (Which isn't to say it's unreasonable of her to not want intercourse on a first or any date, but it's weird to ask like that over text.) I'm guessing she is very attractive to you, otherwise you'd be able to shrug this off. My advice is shrug it off anyway.
It's not a weird expectation, I'm just annoyed that sexual anxieties are coming up, when she's the one who's making things sexual in the first place. It seems like a self-own on her part.
I'm just sick of women laying it on way thicker than they need to, and it turning out to not have meant anything all along. Whereas I have to constantly hide or downplay my genuine interest in people.
I'm also way over-exposed to prog/leftist/SJW sexual mores, where all women apparently live in such overwhelming fear of sexual assault, I'm surprised they ever leave the house, much less try to bilk men for attention.
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