The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Speaking from a different fight sport, your idea of going to other open mats is a good one. I think you’ve said you’ve gone to other gyms before when you travel, and traveling to fight different people and see different styles is awesome. You can get significantly the same benefits by just hitting every other gym in town occasionally, which is convenient.
Alert your partner that you want to roll intensely, if they want to negotiate you down, try to stick to your guns and cone to some agreement, like “Our third roll will be competition caliber.” Then do your best to just crush them (with technique and your natural gifts.) Maybe you win, maybe you lose, but you will eventually get a better feel for rolling in your top gear.
Also, not saying you specifically are doing this, but I see it in fighters sometimes. They get to be friends with people at the gym or the club, and then they develop a bit of a mental block about really just smashing their friend/opponent. It’s okay to crush their dreams (on the mat, with technique+natural gifts.) Just keep being the same you before and after, and they will more likely than not love and appreciate the challenge.
Iron sharpens iron or some such cliche but also true BS.
Absolutely my problem. ~90% of rolls in my gym, I'm either paiseh about going too hard against an upper belt with escalation dominance on me, because I feel like he's being nice so I don't want to be a dick; or I'm paiseh about really putting the hurt on a new guy or a little guy or whatever. I sorta thought this would fix itself as I got better technically and wasn't just relying on muscle, but six months later I'm still stuck in second gear.
Maybe I just need to bring a flask and do enough shots to hit the Ballmer Peak right before I roll...
I need to get out of my own head, and I'm thinking even rolling "normal" pace against new people will break me out of it because I won't be mentally placing them in my hierarchy before we even slap hands.
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