The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Don’t worry about what you did. It sounds like she was never attracted to you, and led you on. Great - now you know a little more about avoiding people who don’t respect you. But you didn’t cause her to not be attracted.
Frankly it sounds like you weren’t attracted either. In what world do two people date even for a month without it devolving into something steamy? Not even sex, necessarily, but there is typically a sort of gravitational force that makes at least a deep kiss inevitable. And being denied that, especially at the beginning of a relationship, tends to drive men absolutely nuts, and they will get what they want or sink the relationship trying. Maybe that’s just telling on me, so correct me if you work another way, but the fact that you didn’t flame out on her says to me that you didn’t really want to screw either. And at that point, who cares. Mutual dumb mistake to move on from. You have my sympathy, obviously, but there’s nothing wrong with you for this to happen.
Yea honestly wasn't super attracted to her either, but I hadn't been having much luck dating so thought I would try it out. Should have listened to my gut.
You're 100% correct, I'm not super torn up about not being with this girl, certainly compared to the last one who took me 6 months to get over. It's more of a self-esteem/pride issue at this point, which will heal quickly. And a learning opportunity. If there isn't attraction don't force it. Part of me is a little sad to be losing this friendship, but after the things that this relationship taught me I don't think I want to be friends with her anyway.
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