The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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I'm out of the startup accelerator program now. I grew up a lot and got disabused of a lot of delusions over those months. I might have developed the smallest sense of pride in my accomplishments. Now I'm back in my home city and old bad habits are creeping up on me again. They're not as bad this time though. 5 steps forward, three steps back.
My big thing for the foreseeable future is to try and find a girl. I would appreciate feedback and advice on my plan below.
My current theory (based off when I got past gfs/hook ups), is that I'm at my most attractive when I feel full of will and energy. So for the next month I'm going to focus on building that up through good sleep, regular exercise, and other good habits. I'm also trying to improve my appearance through starting a skincare routine, lifting, and buying more fashionable clothes.
Once the month is up, I'll start trying to get dates. I'm thinking a two pronged approach. First I'll try making a profile on Hinge, with professional photos and advice from my Chad tier friends. Second I'll attend every rave/EDM event I can and talk to girls there. I already have a few connections in that scene. Last time I went to an event I brought a polaroid camera and went around offering to take free pictures for people. This gave me an excuse to talk to anyone and seems to be building a positive reputation. I'm going to keep doing it at all future events.
I wear glasses, in the past contacts have been too irritating to feel worth it. Should I just suck it up?
The two recent top level CW posts about dating have been kinda demoralizing, but I'm keeping my chin up.
You already know the most important thing. And the second most important, which is to learn how to be gregarious. The third most important thing is to dial in your dating logistics. Think like Napoleon - logistics enables everything else. For a classic drinks date, find a spot you like, ideally classy-ish but chill and quiet (I like wine bars), with tables/bar where you can sit close to her, somewhere nice you can walk to nearby to sit and talk in the dark. That's first date and first kiss sorted, and if you're within walking distance to your place often more. For coffee dates, find a place with a park nearby you can walk in with your coffee. Concerts most of your logistics are sorted for you but try to get a drink beforehand so you can have some time but not too much time to talk. Etc. etc., but the main failing I see for guys once they can get dates is that they sit down for 'job interview' first dates and never build up a real rapport because they're not comfortable in their surroundings.
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