The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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I'm out of the startup accelerator program now. I grew up a lot and got disabused of a lot of delusions over those months. I might have developed the smallest sense of pride in my accomplishments. Now I'm back in my home city and old bad habits are creeping up on me again. They're not as bad this time though. 5 steps forward, three steps back.
My big thing for the foreseeable future is to try and find a girl. I would appreciate feedback and advice on my plan below.
My current theory (based off when I got past gfs/hook ups), is that I'm at my most attractive when I feel full of will and energy. So for the next month I'm going to focus on building that up through good sleep, regular exercise, and other good habits. I'm also trying to improve my appearance through starting a skincare routine, lifting, and buying more fashionable clothes.
Once the month is up, I'll start trying to get dates. I'm thinking a two pronged approach. First I'll try making a profile on Hinge, with professional photos and advice from my Chad tier friends. Second I'll attend every rave/EDM event I can and talk to girls there. I already have a few connections in that scene. Last time I went to an event I brought a polaroid camera and went around offering to take free pictures for people. This gave me an excuse to talk to anyone and seems to be building a positive reputation. I'm going to keep doing it at all future events.
I wear glasses, in the past contacts have been too irritating to feel worth it. Should I just suck it up?
The two recent top level CW posts about dating have been kinda demoralizing, but I'm keeping my chin up.
You already know the most important thing. And the second most important, which is to learn how to be gregarious. The third most important thing is to dial in your dating logistics. Think like Napoleon - logistics enables everything else. For a classic drinks date, find a spot you like, ideally classy-ish but chill and quiet (I like wine bars), with tables/bar where you can sit close to her, somewhere nice you can walk to nearby to sit and talk in the dark. That's first date and first kiss sorted, and if you're within walking distance to your place often more. For coffee dates, find a place with a park nearby you can walk in with your coffee. Concerts most of your logistics are sorted for you but try to get a drink beforehand so you can have some time but not too much time to talk. Etc. etc., but the main failing I see for guys once they can get dates is that they sit down for 'job interview' first dates and never build up a real rapport because they're not comfortable in their surroundings.
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They've also been so delusional. Do everything you say you're going to do in this post and you'll be fine.
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Are you Indian? I feel like every user on here who is young and doing some startup thing is Indian. I'm not sure why that is but it's an interesting phenomenon.
It's just one guy that fits that bill lol. But yes, even I did a double take and wondered if this was an alt.
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Naw bro I'm a white guy from New England.
Called it, you're a Brahmin.
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Glasses on men are like short hair on women - if they're hot, they make you hotter, if you're busted, they make you look worse. If you wear glasses that's a good reason to get your haircut and any beard grooming dialed in, and wear clothes that work with the glasses.
I gotta agree with this. I switched to contacts after 10 years of glasses (and not looking good enough for glasses). I had a doughy phase during covid, with the glasses and with less grooming, and the pictures from that time are embarrassing.
If you groom and dress like a Kingsman (glasses are part of their uniforms), it looks great.
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First off, congratulations on your achievements! Sounds like you are having a lot of work with very few structure around you. That's the worst for me.
In regard to dating, it sounds like you are taking a very technical approach to this. Nothing wrong with that, but it could help to get more in touch with yourself. I recommend reading the book "Models" by Mark Manson. It gives a primer on how to be comfortable dating as yourself, not as some proxy method you are trying out. I feel like this is the source of real confidence. Going into the whole thing as yourself and giving yourself over to the circumstances. Once you do this and succeed you will appreciate yourself in a deeper way. No need to fake anything or learn the next method. Be who you are and attract someone that likes you just for that.
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Seems like we are in the same boat, although I'm not sure how interested in dating I am over the next few months, mainly focusing on trying to finish the PhD and healthmax.
I think you should get Lasik or something similar if you can, but glasses can also be attractive to a certain demographic.
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