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Wellness Wednesday for May 28, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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She would probably also stop it now if she was in a harsher incentive system... grow up into productive people because they are intelligent enough to understand the incentive systems created by society... but she doesn't seem to want to be purposefully causing harm to people around her.

But she didn't. She is intelligent enough to understand those incentive systems created by society to purposefully cause harm to others.

I think her actions would be a lot more destructive if that were the case.

Her actions were already seriously destructive. Tantamount to attempted murder, in fact. Preventing it already required her to be locked up, and that has already put the rest of the family in danger.

I think a huge cause of the issue with the girl in question is also that she is a child.

She really isn't (Western fiction about the age of adulthood aside); note that your suggested solution is to treat her like the adult she clearly is. Mine is too, of course- adults attempting murder get adult punishments (including and up to physical removal), and that's OK. The British hanging tables have data matching youth body types for a reason.

Which action of her would you say is tantamount to attempted murder?

I agree that she doesn't care about the harm being caused to others (like her parents and siblings, but also the people whose house she breaks into) in this case, but I think that is more due to apathy rather than finding it fun to harm others specifically. When I said I think her actions would have been a lot more destructive, I mean that would have included consistent violence, property destruction, emotional abuse, and other things that are more severe.

11 is still a child in my opinion. That's the oldest age given above, unless I missed something. I don't think I had the maturity I do now at 11, and I think that is true of a lot of people. You grow up a lot partly due to increased responsibility you are given by others. I wouldn't say that she should get adult punishments yet, there are a lot more stricter options between adult punishment and her current life that have not been tried at all. And unless juvenile prison is different in her country than mine, even that would be a much harsher life than she is living currently (though she wouldn't have much responsibility there either - you get your basic necessities brought to you and you can't do anything to improve the quality of life you are given, so the incentive system doesn't incentivize good behavior and she will still be as rebellious as possible thus it wouldn't be a good solution, but still better than "putting her down").

consistent violence, emotional abuse

You don't believe intentional false accusations of the "State, please murder my parents and destroy my family" variety counts as that? People who try to get cops to kill people they don't like via similar means (SWATting) are still attempting murder.

What kind of state kills people due to accusations like this? And no, I don't think it counts as violence. I wouldn't say it is emotional abuse either, because that's a specific kind of harm to me, but it is definitely as severe. She was trying to get herself removed and either genuinely didn't understand the full consequences of her actions on her family or she just didn't care (probably this).