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It is very validating to see so many people long for my life. For almost a decade I have worked two days a week and I have never been happier or ironically more successful. I don't really go anywhere or do anything most of the time, but I didn't before either. But it is also very alarming. I have one of the few mental illnesses we know is hereditary, there is no future for me. That ate me up for a long time, far too long. But my fate was a precondition of my birth, your fate is still within your grasp. Don't give it up without a fight. That said, if you feel you have already fought to your limit, I understand.
One other thing - you only ever choose to have faith when it doesn't exist. Faith without choice is belief.
This sounds foreboding and if I were less American I wouldn't ask you about it, but I am still rather very American and often poorly mannered, so what do you mean by this?
Lol that's all good man, my perspective on posting is if you never want people talking about it, don't mention it. I meant it in the sense of genetics, it would be unwise for me to have children. Ironically, or perhaps just fucking inevitably, kids were the only thing I was ever one hundred percent certain I wanted growing up.
I know I could adopt, but... Well I haven't found the woman yet who doesn't jump on her backwards bike and backpedal out of the relationship when I say "hey I have a tenuous grasp on reality at the best of times, plus it's heritable, so let's adopt a kid together!" Well there was one, the girl of my dreams, she didn't want kids, but she would have been a great mom and she put up with my bullshit for a very long time, but she was solidly progressive, and so when I started drifting further rightward (I was a lefty centrist when we started dating) we stopped being able to talk as much as we had, so I fucked that.
I don't mind any longer. I'm not saying I wouldn't jump at the chance if a woman asked me to adopt with her, but I'm alright. My brother and sister have kids and they are not shy about asking for help watching them, so I get to be the cool uncle, which is a good consolation prize.
Thank you for the response. Just to press the point, is the worst that would happen to a hypothetical child that he or she would end up like you? Is that so bad?
That's a really nice thing to hear, even if you don't mean it in a complimentary way. Nobody has asked me that before, once they know it's hereditary they accept it. Not that I think poorly of them, it's just nice to hear. But no, the worst is much worse than me. Any son or daughter of mine would likely be smarter than me and therefore even better at hiding their craziness from others, and I went 5 years before anyone realised how crazy I was. And it's not that people weren't looking, they were and some even suspected. I just knew how to brush them off. But the other component is my craziness was almost entirely benign. When it connected with the real world it mostly led to me making confusing purchases or instantly writing off strangers for no apparent reason. There's no way to know what shape the illness would take in my child.
I do think about it sometimes though, lord knows I want to roll those dice. One in seven is either the best or the worst odds depending on how optimistic a gambler you are, I'm told. But then I remember my time in hospital - not how I was, but my fellow sufferers, sitting in the common room at visiting time staring blankly past their loved ones, in an entirely different world - their loved ones just hoping for one fleeting glimpse of the person they know and love. Not a conversation, not even a word said, just recognition. And so few of them got it. I could handle that, because I've been there, but there aren't many who'd sign up for it willingly. Then the years on medication, zonked out of my mind, changing my diet to accommodate the constipation and absence of energy, being tethered to my home because if I miss a day I'm a vomiting, shaking wreck. Oh and then the new medication, with no withdrawals, yay, oh wait now I just throw up every day full stop. No it is healthier for me to consider myself a genetic dead end I think.
It's difficult to judge from this distance. You certainly appear to be verbally very sharp, articulate, together, and self-aware. But of course you have a far better grasp of what's what here.
Thanks dude, that means a lot coming from you. But yeah, I don't visit the motte when I'm sick, so you're only getting part of the picture. I can't go into it further without revealing more of my identity than I am comfortable with unfortunately.
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What do you do?
I manage a farmer's market. The only problem with it really is that most people I know are free on the weekend and working during the week so it's hard to socialise, but I don't do that much anyway.
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