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Culture War Roundup for the week of June 23, 2025

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when girls were asked to make the same list, a high number said they need to be submissive during sex by allowing their partner to choke or slap them.

Wait a second. Women aren't generally watching porn[1], so where did they get this idea from?

And if it's true that it's 100% downstream from men watching porn then [insert Slootpost about hypoagency, in which case "yes, they do like to be degraded" actually being the correct posture to take for both sexes], but that's also completely ridiculous. Not that reality is itself not ridiculous, but I'm more interested in the men and women who actually have at least a modicum of self-respect beyond hyper-gooning[2], or trying to make love rather than just having sex.

But then, losing virginity (for teen-aged men or women) has never really been about that- from merely 'new experience' to 'just get it out of the way' to 'processing how your life's going to be now'- and maybe the people who are going to treat sex in the 'love' sense were always going to be fine[3] and those who couldn't or won't were always going to get fucked? I'd be annoyed if I got treated purely as a human fleshlight/dildo outside of a give-and-take context, that's for sure.


Of course, we're calling it "sex education", not "love education", so love is kind of outside the purview of this exercise. Which is kind of the problem with "women like to be choked while taking it in the ass" in the first place- wanting to going straight to that seems to reveal a profound incuriousity about [the physical pleasure of] one's partner in that case. But then, it isn't necessarily about physical pleasure, is it?


[1] You... don't read a lot of yaoi, do you? That shit's about as heteronormative in its seme/uke dynamics as breathplay is- maybe the Motte should compile an essential reading list.

[2] Someone said "human fleshlight" here once, and that stuck with me. I don't understand why having sex needs to be that way though from anecdote this is [a lot of the time] functionally what happens.

[3] People joke about 'cherry-popping' for various different experiences; part of that is the newness, but part of it's also the attitude being a 'virgin' to something bestows. The reason men aren't (or weren't, for a long time) considered virgins is because they're supposed to know everything already, which was the reason to be devoted to them -> the pathway to getting sufficiently choked in bed.

Actually, I think the people less likely to get off on those things as a submissive act are also those that devotion pathway doesn't work on, and the fact the people "[seeking to be] sounding the alarm" tend to be Liberated women in their 50s [where "men being sexually aggressive = bad" was at its highest- sometimes men even believe that] is significant.

[Edit: and considering TheNybbler pointed out the even more obvious- that is, "partners are expected to enjoy sex, clearly the youth are crazy"- it's another data point in the "performative shock by frigid old women who would rather be getting choked by 15 year old men, but demonizing said men for only wanting that with 15 year old women scratches that itch too" direction.]

You... don't read a lot of yaoi, do you? That shit's about as heteronormative in its seme/uke dynamics as breathplay is- maybe the Motte should compile an essential reading list.

Look, if I want my filthy depraved kink, I get it the old-fashioned way: by going on fanfic sites. I'm old enough that I don't need to lie about age-verification anymore, but these young'uns nowadays should at least have to work that much to get their porny kicks!

I think one plausible explanation of this being "100% downstream from men watching porn" is that it is that the porn is making more sexual activities seem boringly normal and the women are getting off not to the degradation but to the idea that their partner's love for them is extreme. Thus as more extreme sexual behaviors are normalized they need to push the boundaries even further to get that adventurous kick.