The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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Prepare your divorce, both legally and in the practical sense of how you'll take care of your kids when she's not around anymore etc. Maybe you'll get lucky and manage to drag her out of this for good, but if not, or if she relapses, you'll sleep better knowing that Plan B is in place and you needn't stick out a detereorating situation out of uncertainty regarding the alternative.
How is her parenting in these times? How is yours? How old are the kids?
I spoke to an attorney last week. It was sad and depressing. I completed the documention exercises he recommended before I blocked the the extremist content from the network. This is a non-perfered option.
There are areas for improvement. 2 years ago, she insisted on homeschooling. I'm reenrolling the children for the start of school in the fall. It's challenging, I work full-time, I've not been to the office in several weeks. I may switch to a full remote work plan. 12, 10, 8, 6
That's rough. I wish you good luck.
At least fall isn't far, and your kids are grown out of the most care-intensive ages and (mostly, I suppose?) not into teenage rebellion yet.
Do you have any nearby relatives or friends who might help you out when needed?
No relatives really. I am only child, both my parents have passed. I'm the youngest of my cousins, and they're all 3000 miles away. Only one of my cousins would really be able / competent to help. My wife's mother and brother are in Germany. Their relationship is odd / tense.
The mother and brother are in the same Regierungsbezirk and don't see eachother that often. We traveled to Germany late last fall. We were there for 3 weeks. It was the first time she met 3 of her grandchildren and her only granddaughter and the first time she'd seen our oldest in 10 years. We saw her twice. The brother and his family we saw 4 or 5 times though 2 of those were with their mother and 2 were activity outings with the children.
We're active in our local church. I've shared all of this with the pastor and his wife. They've been incredibly supportive. I shared this yesterday with my 'work wife' he was shocked but very supportive. I've a good group of friends in my men's bible study group. I've not shared any of this with them. I feel if I were to they would be supportive but I also feel it would make church uncomfortable for my wife.
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