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Culture War Roundup for the week of August 4, 2025

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Original English:

Today’s stream was stunning! I commented “踏んでくだSTEP ON ME!!!” and My Oshi HAACHAMA reacted really disgusting me. Moreover, she said “You’re degenerate!!!” for me. OMG I’m in a heaven right now. It was a peaceful and an amazing moment in my life.

And also, the most excited thing is There’s HAACHAMA’s birthday live soon. It’s in August 10th 21.00JST. I could die there. I can’t wait to watch that!! I really wanna support her live too. Imagine that live I feel like drinking her bath water.

Original Japanese:

今日の配信は完璧でした!俺は”踏んでくだステップオンミー!”とコメントすると、推しのはあちゃまが「キモい!」と反応してくれて

さらに、「あんた変態すぎ!」と言ってくれたんだ、やばすぎ!! 今、天国にいる気分だわ。 これは、俺の人生で最高に平和な瞬間だよ。

そしてさらに、1番楽しみで仕方ないことははあちゃまの誕生日ライブが8月10日(日)21:00にあるってこと!!全力で応援したいと思ってるんだ。 その日をライブを想像すると、彼女の風呂水を飲んでる気持ちになるよ。

ChatGPT output:

Today’s stream was absolutely mind-blowing!

I typed “踏んでくだSTEP ON ME!!!” in the comments, and my oshi, Haachama, actually reacted. Not only that —em—dash— she called me “degenerate!!!” directly OMG. I’m in heaven. That one moment was pure peace and bliss. Probably one of the best highlights of my life.

And the most exciting part is still ahead. Haachama’s birthday live is coming up on August 10th at 21:00 JST. I seriously can’t wait. I really, truly want to support her with everything I’ve got. Just thinking about that live … feels like I could drink her bathwater.

"Today's stream was perfect! When I commented "Please step on me!" my oshi Haachama reacted by saying "Gross!" and then she even said "You're way too much of a pervert!" - it was incredible!! I'm feeling like I'm in heaven right now. This is the most blissful moment of my life. And what I'm most excited about is that Haachama's birthday live stream is on August 10th (Sunday) at 9:00 PM!! I want to support her with everything I've got. Just imagining that day and the live stream makes me feel like I'm drinking her bathwater."

Claude knocks it out of the park as far as I'm concerned.

Even 4o:

Today's stream was absolutely perfect! When I commented, "Step on me, please!" my oshi, Haachama, actually reacted and said, "Gross!" Then she went on to say, "You're way too much of a pervert!" It was insane!! Right now, I feel like I'm in a sexy kind of heaven. This is the most peaceful moment of my life.

And on top of all that, the thing I'm most looking forward to is Haachama’s birthday live on Sunday, August 10th at 9:00 PM!! I'm planning to cheer her on with everything I've got. Just imagining that live makes me feel like I'm drinking her bathwater.

Thought #1: Incredible machine translation from Claude. 4o interpolates a little that's not in the actual text ("sexy kind of heaven") and does an iffy literal translation for "peaceful moment"; "blissful moment" is a better fit.

Thought #2: Ban LLMs. They will allow comments like this to be translated to English.

ルイズ!ルイズ!ルイズ!ルイズぅぅうううわぁああああああああああああああああああああああん!!! あぁああああ…ああ…あっあっー!あぁああああああ!!!ルイズルイズルイズぅううぁわぁああああ!!! あぁクンカクンカ!クンカクンカ!スーハースーハー!スーハースーハー!いい匂いだなぁ…くんくん んはぁっ!ルイズ・フランソワーズたんの桃色ブロンドの髪をクンカクンカしたいお!クンカクンカ!あぁあ!! 間違えた!モフモフしたいお!モフモフ!モフモフ!髪髪モフモフ!カリカリモフモフ…きゅんきゅんきゅい!! 小説10巻のルイズたんかわいかったよぅ!!あぁぁああ…あああ…あっあぁああああ!!ふぁぁあああんんっ!! アニメ2期決まって良かったねルイズたん!あぁあああああ!かわいい!ルイズたん!かわいい!あっああぁああ! コミック1巻も発売されて嬉し…いやぁああああああ!!!にゃああああああああん!!ぎゃああああああああ!! ぐあああああああああああ!!!コミックなんて現実じゃない!!!!あ…小説もアニメもよく考えたら… ル イ ズ ち ゃ ん は 現実 じ ゃ な い?にゃあああああああああああああん!!うぁああああああああああ!! そんなぁああああああ!!いやぁぁぁあああああああああ!!はぁああああああん!!ハルケギニアぁああああ!! この!ちきしょー!やめてやる!!現実なんかやめ…て…え!?見…てる?表紙絵のルイズちゃんが僕を見てる? 表紙絵のルイズちゃんが僕を見てるぞ!ルイズちゃんが僕を見てるぞ!挿絵のルイズちゃんが僕を見てるぞ!! アニメのルイズちゃんが僕に話しかけてるぞ!!!よかった…世の中まだまだ捨てたモンじゃないんだねっ! いやっほぉおおおおおおお!!!僕にはルイズちゃんがいる!!やったよケティ!!ひとりでできるもん!!! あ、コミックのルイズちゃああああああああああああああん!!いやぁあああああああああああああああ!!!! あっあんああっああんあアン様ぁあ!!セ、セイバー!!シャナぁああああああ!!!ヴィルヘルミナぁあああ!! ううっうぅうう!!俺の想いよルイズへ届け!!ハルケギニアのルイズへ届け!俺は実はサイト萌えなんだっ!!

絶望した!このサイトのコメントに絶望した!

あい らいく ゆー。
かむ おーばー とぅ まい はうす えんど ふぁっく まい しすたー!

Shouldn't that be あんど

but I am sensing a whooshing sound going past my ears here.

In a surprising concession to real English phonology, no.

One negative review begins:

I have no objections to the content. It is very important to learn how the correct usage of dirty words. However, you must be aware that this book will not improve your pronunciation.

I genuinely can't believe this is a real book.

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