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Friday Fun Thread for December 16, 2022

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Someone commenting on the Dickstretcher-Rolex saga suggested we have a watch thread. To kick it off, I'm going to post a guide to What Watch to Buy based on why you want a watch, I figure that's a good way to pick a fight and get it going. I love watches, watches are cool, they're one of the few pieces of acceptable jewelry for (white) men, I love the historical associations of vintage pieces, I love the mechanical beauty of automatic watches that turn movement into energy as if by magic and can go farther underwater than I ever will.

I want a watch that tells time, is cheap, and maybe isn't a total piece of shit and that some people will like

G Shock Classic Tough Solar. Classic to iconic design, will survive anything your wrist will and a lot your wrist won't, solar battery lasts effectively forever and the multi-band atomic system means you'll never have to set it. Has a stop watch and other fun stuff if you want to play with it. People love their G Shocks so it's not something people will look down on, has a certain rugged utilitarianism to it. If you end up loving G Shocks, they go up in price, features, and collectibility from there to a $500 all steel model, which I found kind of ruined the point because it was so damn heavy.

I want to blend into the corporate upper classes and fit in, this is a status item, but I don't want to spend a ton of money

Just buy an Apple Watch. My circles aren't yours, but no one I know can tell the difference between one model and another (maybe they'll change this with the ultra), and half the top execs and earners I meet these days are wearing Apple Watches anyway for "fitness" stuff, so for <$400 you blend right into the C Suite. Honestly, this watch has hollowed out the watch industry as a jewelry/status purchase, the ladder of success has broken down at the middle tiers. Only stuff cheaper than an Apple Watch or much more expensive than the Apple Watch can survive. It no longer makes sense for a middle manager to buy a $1k Tag or Raymond Weil and expect anyone to give a fuck when the mail cart kid is wearing the exact same Apple Watch the CEO is wearing.

I want a new mechanical watch that looks like a classic men's watch and functions well, but brand isn't important

Seiko 5, Glycine Airman, or the Timex Marlin, are all affordable models with respectable reliable mechanical movements and good looks. No batteries are nice, and you can see if you like mechanicals. Nobody will look at them and say it's horrible or cheap. Pick what aesthetic tickles your fancy. If you want to get more into niche boutique unique stuff, some microbrands like this Armida Explorer Homage or any of the fine dive watches out of Islander Watches have moderately better finishing than the lower end brands and more unique styles, while still basically paying homage to the big guys.

I have a really small penis and I want to make that obvious to everyone

Can I interest you in an invicta? They offer products for all price ranges between $50 and $5,000, and it all screams compensation from top to bottom.

I want a mechanical watch from a brand other watch nerds will respect, but that Champagne taste is on a craft-beer budget

Go vintage non-Rolex swiss brand. You can find great cheap Tissot Seastars, or for a step up in brand value get a vintage Omega Seamaster or Constellation, or go out there with a Vostok if you're quirky like a Coen brothers film. The vintage will appeal to enthusiasts richer than you who are wearing Rolexs or Blancpains that cost ten times as much, while costing much less. Much better value than spending $1k on a mid tier watch.

No, really, I'm fancy and I just want to dive into the deep end and flex

Just get a Submariner or a Speedmaster , they have the pedigree and the history and the reputation that you're looking for. Unless you're ready to buy a Patek or something, and that's out of my depth!

As for my collection? I have a black square G Shock and an Armida A9 that I wear 90% of days. I have a 60s Omega Seamaster which was a gift from an old friend that I love, and a Bailey Banks and Biddle watch that was given to my great grandfather for 25 years of work at the same plant which I wear for special occasions (I love wearing it to a fancy event because no one else has one quite like it).

So what's in everybody else's drawer and on your wrist? Or how did I fuck up my advice above? Do you wear nothing but fakes? Nothing but Swatches in fun colors?

Someone commenting on the Dickstretcher-Rolex saga suggested we have a watch thread.

That was me, glad you went through with it!

To kick it off, I'm going to post a guide to What Watch to Buy based on why you want a watch, I figure that's a good way to pick a fight and get it going.

I like the way you think. Picking fights is unironically the best way to start a discussion.

I want a watch that tells time, is cheap, and maybe isn't a total piece of shit and that some people will like

G Shock Classic Tough Solar.

G-Shocks are really nice, but they are usually huge and not a good fit for slender wrists. A good alternative, especially for techie types, is the Casio F-91W - a watch worn by both Obama and Osama. It's slim, indestructible, with all the features you would want from a watch and it's respected by watch nerds. It doesn't have solar charging though. The Casio "Royale" AE1200 is also a good alternative. Just don't get the bracelet, it's awful.

I want to blend into the corporate upper classes and fit in, this is a status item, but I don't want to spend a ton of money

Just buy an Apple Watch.

Booo! Heresy! Just get a cool midrange 700-1200$ watch from a "cool" brand like Hamilton or Oris. Or go the hipster route with a microbrand like Yema or Baltic.

I want a new mechanical watch that looks like a classic men's watch and functions well, but brand isn't important

Seiko 5, Glycine Airman, or the Timex Marlin, are all affordable models with respectable reliable mechanical movements and good looks.

Yeah, concur. I would through Orient into the mix.

I have a really small penis and I want to make that obvious to everyone

Can I interest you in an invicta? They offer products for all price ranges between $50 and $5,000, and it all screams compensation from top to bottom.

:marseynodfast:

I have a 60s Omega Seamaster which was a gift from an old friend that I love

Absolutely brilliant. An all-time favourite.

So what's in everybody else's drawer and on your wrist? Or how did I fuck up my advice above? Do you wear nothing but fakes? Nothing but Swatches in fun colors?

Apart from my grandfather's pocket watch which I adore to no end, I have the above-mentioned Casio Royale as my beater watch (the LED function comes in really handy in hotels at night and such when I don't want to wake up my wife but look where I put the water bottle. But 90% of wrist time is currently occupied by the Baltic Aquascaphe. It's relatively small at 39mm and I just love the looks of it. The bracelet is the most comfortable I've ever worn (and I suspect it's the same Doxa put on their watches). It also wasn't prohibitively expensive at around 1000$. I also have a smaller, inconspicuous Junghans quartz with a black dial for dressier occasions. Next on my radar are the Oris Big Crown Pointer date mentioned above, and the Stowa Marine Classic 36.

I like the way you think. Picking fights is unironically the best way to start a discussion.

It's the corollary to the rule about the best way to get the right answer is to post the wrong answer.

RE: G Shock Wrist size

I'm learning that seemingly everyone has smaller wrists than me on here. I guess at 200# with a 7.75" wrist I'm the resident fat guy! I will say try on different G Shocks, they have wildly different sizes/fits across their ~million models. There are some I absolutely could not wear, and some I barely notice.

RE: Heresy

Booing it doesn't make it less true. That's why Seiko is slowly eliminating a lot of their mid-range stuff in favor of moving more of their classics upmarket, and leaving the cheap 5s as the entry level. If you're not a watch enthusiast and just want something to complete your "Serious Business Man" look, an Apple Watch is going to do it better than anything else new at the same price. The Oris and Hamilton you cite are twice(!) the price, and IMO deliver less in the way of blending right into rich people. The only downside of the Apple Watch is that it won't last half the lifespan of a good mechanical.

RE: Orient

I stuck to recommending watches I've owned/handled something similar extensively and personally. Consider it added if you think it's a good pick!

RE: Stowa

Do you have any experience with these? I've wanted a Flieger for a while, would fit my vibe, but I've never even seen one in person.

Also how do you like the Baltic? They really seem to make some neat stuff, another Microbrand I'm looking at. I might pick up a Deep Blue on sale in the near future, they have some steep discounts right now.

Booing it doesn't make it less true.

True heresy is the most dangerous kind and has to be suppressed extra hard.

Stowa

Do you have any experience with these? I've wanted a Flieger for a while, would fit my vibe, but I've never even seen one in person.

Unfortunately not. I have looked at a few videos with brilliant macro shots though. I am still looking for an unobstrusive dress watch and I would like a handwound with small seconds, Roman numerals, and an exhibition caseback. The Stowa I linked fits the bill perfectly, at least on paper. I was originally looking at a Nomos Ludwig, which I have seen and tried in person. I liked it, but it felt too sterile. The Stowa seems to have more character. I suppose I will just have to drive down to their factory one day, my watchmaker doesn't carry them.

Also how do you like the Baltic?

I absolutely love it. With 39mm, the GMT is the perfect size for a diver, the colours (I have the turquoise/blue version) match my usual attire perfectly, and it's supremely comfortable to wear. I adore the looks of it with the domed crystal and the brilliant, timeless set of hands. It has a vintage-y touch to it without being try-hard. It is great to add a little bit more class to casual and smart casual outfits. You can wear it to more formal attire, and it does slip nicely under a cuff. But ultimately I just don't think that diver bezels and formal clothing go that well together, no matter what James Bond would like us to believe. I would only improve two things: the 42h power reserve could be greater, and the action of the 24 step bezel could be loser.