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Wellness Wednesday for December 28, 2022

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Two suggestions:

  1. Write out a response and don't post it.

  2. Allow yourself to write a response but don't engage in debate beyond that no matter what. If the people listening are worth anything at all someone else will pick up the ball.

Furthermore, something I've noticed is very heavy founder effects and manipulation in threads elsewhere, which I suspect partially has to do with bots and more manual campaigns to influence opinions. Opinions on things can switch schizophrenically between radically pro something to radically against something, literally the same day, in the same forum.

These conversations aren't natural at all and you can't really influence them as a single person, because there isn't a single person behind them and people aren't genuinely listening anyway. You wouldn't try to show up to a political rally to have measured conversations with people.

Two suggestions:

  1. Write out a response and don't post it.
  1. Allow yourself to write a response but don't engage in debate beyond that no matter what. If the people listening are worth anything at all someone else will pick up the ball.

This are excellent. See others' threads as prompt to clear your own thinking, or write your own essays. Sometimes I even handwrite my responses as not to be tempted to post it.