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Notes -
I saw Jurassic World Rebirth in theaters a few weeks back, but didn't get around to writing a review, and honestly, don't think it deserves an exhaustive analysis. But it was okay! There were dinosaurs, in a dinosaur movie, and that is intrinsically appealing. It also raises pointed questions about how Dominion was so bad that I left it in a DNF state.
In favor:
The movie is an intentional throwback to the first trilogy, in terms of setting, pacing and cinematography. It's more more restrained, the pacing more deliberate. There is a tangible sense of place, a welcome departure from the green-screen-heavy aesthetic of the World trilogy, which only reminds me (negatively) of Marvel slop.
The characters, sometimes, act self-aware.
There are dinosaurs. Most of them act like wild carnivores as opposed to horror movie villains.
Against:
The characters just as often turn off their brain when convenient for the plot.
The onus for being there, namely to create a super anti-clotting drug and the precise means of doing so, are not very plausible. They need three samples from 3 different types of large dinosaur to "cure heart disease", and there is literally a wild Apatosaur in the first scene of the movie, in New Fucking York, why didn't they just sample that??
Do not look too hard for plot holes, it doesn't stand up to scrutiny. To pick on them makes me feel bad, like challenging a child with Downs syndrome to a debate.
In continued Hollywood tradition, the trailer spoils about 90% of the tense scenes in the movie.
Children = invincible.
??
??? What. It would have been better to just reframe this as an alternate universe take or properly retcon things.
Overall, a 7/10. A good way to please the child in you that still fondly remembers making their plastic Rex fight and win against Army men. The British are an enlightened people, so I enjoyed it with multiple beers in the movie hall, and didn't miss anything of note during the necessary piss breaks.
I think that's also pretty much what they did with the last two movies, in the sense of them trying to execute as little as possible on the premise of Dinosaurs Everywhere(tm), probably because it's not conducive to the kind of plot they want to tell, or it would be too high budget, or it would make the dinosaurs seem boring and not special anymore. So what they do is put out trailers that show prominently Dinosaurs Everywhere(tm), put it in opening or closing scenes, and then quickly in the movie find an excuse why yes, there's Dinosaurs Everywhere(tm) but not really dinosaurs everywhere and the trailer feels like a bait and switch.
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