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Culture War Roundup for the week of January 2, 2023

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Titan Invictus

Anyone who inflicts that name on a baby, particularly a baby girl, should be removed from the gene pool by being stranded on a barren desert island where their time will be fully occupied trying to collect dew for drinking water. When you name your kid like a character from a video game, you deserve to be kicked from here to the Kerguelen islands.

I am willing to bet that by the time that child turns ten, she will insist on being called "Jane" and will be already plotting out the first chapters of her misery porn memoir about living with nutcase parents who treated her like a Warhammer miniature.

Obviously a girl should be Titania Invicta, and the offending parents should be sentenced to a term of 9 months of Latin grammar.

Titania is a perfectly good name:

https://twitter.com/TitaniaMcGrath

Titania is more tolerable, and fits better with Octavian as her brother's name. Invicta can be the middle name that is never used. The parents should be beaten about the head with a set of baby name books then made spell all the modern variants on previously sensible names and shocked with a buzzer for each they get wrong. That would soon have them deciding "Joan" or "Alice" is as exotic as they want to go for their kids.

Titania Invicta

NGL that's a really badass name.

In keeping with actual Roman practice, the girl should be renamed a feminine form of her father’s given name.

Her father is Malcolm? Which is the Scots Gaelic "Máel Coluim, or Maol Choluim is a Scottish Gaelic given name meaning "devotee of Saint Columba".

So "Columba" for a girl would be fine. Maybe "Columbine" if they're feeling extra fancy. Although on second thoughts, given the associations, no.

TBH might still be better than ‘titan invictus’.