Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
How often do you get to perform a notable good deed? Not just putting back a shopping cart, but something worthy of being a least a story about your day? Examples for scale:
A few months ago, I was hiking and happened upon a damsel in distress. A woman had fallen over and couldn't get up. She didn't seem seriously injured, more ungraceful and bruised, but she was struggling to get back up. I helped her to her feet and then escorted her back to the entrance to the park.
A few weeks ago, I was in a Walmart when I was stopped by a very short Hispanic man. He pointed up towards the top shelf and said, in an oddly Italian-sounding accent, "Can you please reach for me? I am too eh-small." I helped him, exchanged a quick pleasantry, and went on my day.
A few days ago, coming home from the same Walmart on an unlit back road, I nearly ruined my month. A tree had fallen across my half of the road. It was long dead and trimmed, leaving it like a telephone-pole sized spiked club. It was partially hidden by poor lighting, a curve, and a hill, and I came within a few feet of doing thousands of dollars of damage to my car. I managed to spot it in time, went around, and then I parked just past it, got out of the car, and hauled the tree out of the road.
With that act, it feels quite possible that I saved some nameless stranger from large expenses and hours of stress. I'll never know who, or if. But doing that felt good. Prosocial. Made me feel strong and competent.
But the real reward was getting to tell the story to my dad. I wound him up with expectations before revealing that I did not fuck up my car. And I got to see, when I mentioned picking up a tree and moving it, a flash of pride on his face at his son's casual might.
A flash of pride that I am reliving by telling the story now. And it occurs to me that this perk is probably a critical mechanism for inspiring people to do random, notable good deeds. And as a man who usually prefers his social invisibility, having one of these stories to tell is one of the rare times I'm happy to draw attention to myself. So.
What was your most recent good deed? Your greatest? And how does your willingness to preform them vary with how much social accolades you expect from people around you?
I don’t know if this counts but I was really drunk with my buddy on the beach during a hurricane and we went swimming. The waves were literally on the walk way of the beach - he jumped in and immediately was flipped and went head first down disappeared. I vaguely sort of waddled in where I thought he may have been, grabbed him, and pulled him out.
He was sort of stunned and non verbal.
The issue is: I know something like this happened. But I don’t remember anything else before or after. I don’t know how heroic I was, and if my mind is remembering more and more heroic feats in that moment. It was some 20 years ago and we were drunk and it was way late at night.
But I do know that he got in the ocean and I had to get him. And if my mind is adding a bit of extra flair, so be it, I’m 6ft5 and it’s believable even to myself.
Also I was really stupid around that time so it all checks out.
Last year a lady kept fainting at a WWII reenactment and I was like the only person to grab her and put her on the ground gently and give her water. She was very fat and old and so was her husband. It was really good seeing my two teenage boys seeing me do that. Like, hey, you gotta do good things rather than staying neutral.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link