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PaperclipPerfector  2mo ago (text post)   1636 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for August 27, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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"Pretty people don't light their own cigarettes." This was not a necessary thing to say.

Also, the time to say "I'm not happy with you kissing me" was the first time I kissed her, not the next day

I am not mad she wasn't attracted to me, I'm mad that I'm being accused of wrongdoing, rather than this just being an incident of mutual misunderstanding between two awkward people. I knew I was going out on a limb pursuing her.

Also, "all us freaks have is each other" is the entire fucking ethos of her queer neurodivergent activist leftist community, except that it specifically excludes me as a straight white male. Yes, I was disappointed to find I was wrong about her.

You're taking me a bit too literally here, or really under-selling my self-awareness.

Alright, I'll quit while I'm behind. Best of luck to you.

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A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


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