The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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When I was 25 my most serious girlfriend yet dumped me for another man, and then the next day my dad died. I was moping around having a pity party, and a friend of mine went "Boohoo, like other people don't have bad things happen." I probably needed to hear that.
Some people grow up well adjusted and family oriented, and somehow pair off with other well adjusted family oriented people and go on to have happy well adjusted families. Sometimes I get glimpses of these people, and it's like looking into a bizarre parallel world. Like they are made of dark matter and only weakly interact with the world I've always known.
The rest of us, and I'm pretty sure we're the majority, just have to get out there and try to live faster than we die. Play catch up on all the things we think we missed out on. You just have to keep putting yourself out there. There is no other magic trick. "Fair" is a four letter word.
Probably the only advice I have which might still be relevant, is don't try to go the "become friends because I'm scared and then try to date later when I feel comfortable" strategy.
Aside from that good luck. And try to spend more time doing things than thinking about doing things.
Hah, I can relate to this. I like to spend time around them at church though, it feels very healing. Just being in the presence of happy, well adjusted people has done a lot for at least exposing me to a different way of being in the world, given me a model for how to be that I didn't really have before. I love it.
Sorry to hear about your father, and the break up. That is a lot to happen at once. FWIW your friend sounds like a dick hah. I don't think you needed to hear that.
Eh, the story was less about farming sympathy, it was 20 years ago, and more just, yeah, shit happens to everyone. And life goes on.
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