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PaperclipPerfector  2d ago (text post)   1669 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for October 10, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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So the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section on Tubi is pretty much interdimensional cable from Rick & Morty. Case in point, here's the movie Dragonfyre (2013).

https://youtube.com/watch?v=CaXAKE4jdhw

An army of orcs and shit want to invade the earth through a magic portal, but their conquest is repeatedly thwarted by a mighty wizard armed with terrifying magic, AKA the gun nut whose land the portal opens on to. This movie is like if Sauron got a portal to the ranch of some guntuber and the host of Mordor got its ass blown off by a grumpy army vet.

Okay not really, it's more like the shitty bargain-basement version of the movie you're imagining. It looks like some asshole youtuber made it or something. Half the movie is just violence porn of orcs getting butchered by machine gun fire while trying to set up catapults and shit, but these guys can't even muster the filmcraft to employ squibs, so it's just guys falling to the floor while 90's video game CGI blood spurts go off over them.

There's a American Indian shaman with healing powers who dual-wields katanas even though he's blind and wears a blindfold to make double sure we know he's blind. I feel like this tells you a lot about what kind of film this is.

Nothing about the movie's thumbnail or blurb on Tubi gave me any clue what it was about. It just showed a dragon and said some generic shit about orcs. I just put this on for the hell of it because I love Z-list fantasy trash and then things started getting fun out of nowhere. Nobody seems to have made any funny reviews of it or anything either, and I felt like telling someone about it, so there it is.

their conquest is repeatedly thwarted by a mighty wizard armed with terrifying magic, AKA the gun nut whose land the portal opens on to. This movie is like if Sauron got a portal to the ranch of some guntuber and the host of Mordor got its ass blown off by a grumpy army vet.

I'd point out that this general concept has in fact already been done before, to cinematic perfection, in the film Tremors.

The pan to the back wall may be one of the greatest comedy shots in movie history.

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