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It just depends what you want to use the word "gay" to mean. If you want to indicate a certain variety of sinner, then it's best to use the "screwing anyone with a Y chromosome even once, in any manner, regardless of context" definition. If you want to try to describe a group of people with similar attributes, then calling people attracted to Traps gay isn't really very useful, they don't share attributes with most of the rest of the group.
I think this is the crux of the argument, my definition is activity and attraction based. And for record, since you mentioned sin, having a same sex attractions is not a sin to most people. My definition was quickly written, and I'd throw in consent, and full knowledge as caveats as well.
I think you're using the word to describe people fitting what your definition of gay is. I don't know what attributes you consider in your definition.
I'll expand, can you talk gay? Or dress gay? Sure that sort of description only has meaning because societal connotations and associations with people following the definition as gay. You can talk/dress gay without being gay. You can be gay without talking/dressing gay. Try changing the word and its doesn't make sense to use the attributes as gate-keeping mechanisms. Example: Can you talk/dress American without being American? Can you be American without talking/dressing American?
To be clear, I'm not really attached to either definition, I think the word "gay" is inconsistently used and applied, such that using it in conversation or argument to exclusively mean either the act/sin-based or identity/attraction-based definition is likely to run into snags when two people are using the word to mean different things. Without clarifying our definitions all we're going to achieve is shouting our definitions at each other, so I asked you to clarify what definition you are using to get the conversation moving more productively.
Personally, Homosexuality and sexual orientation is something that I'm intellectually struggling to define at this point. I really don't know what I think Homosexuality is. The "Born This Way" argument seems to have been more or less abandoned, repealed without replacement, by the LGBTQWERTY types. Not long ago Posner would cite the "helper in the nest" theory when writing an opinion on gay rights, the Born This Way theory was a keystone to the entire gay rights movement. Now, it is treated as either an assumption or an irrelevancy, but it isn't even part of the catechism anymore. When I ask woke friends of mine, queer themselves, what the current theory of homosexuality is in this month's issue of The Gay Agenda, they shrug and say idk it doesn't really matter anymore.
Alternatively, homosexual behavior is a pure choice that anyone can make. That doesn't feel right to me, as there is no situation in which I would be attracted to a male, I can't imagine a situation where it would occur to me to engage in homosexual activity. I can imagine most things that I don't like being appealing in some context, Islam or Hockey or beans on toast or genocide, but homosexuality I can't imagine. So there clearly must be some genetic difference between me and the men who are gay. But no one seems interested in telling me what anymore.
Idk, it's something I'm pretty lost on at this point if I stop to think about it.
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