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I think this is true at the individual scale, but, for various reasons, in aggregate results in substantive loss of territory that seems worth noting. This can take the form of "When we had a kid, we moved out of San Francisco because the streets didn't feel safe for a toddler" to "Nobody goes to the park anymore because gangs aggressively harass anyone else trying to use it". Sure, de-escalation is a good idea, but rolling over at every perceived threat cedes the commons to wannabe tyrants: people should be able to go to the park, or walk down the street with their kids.
That said, it'd be better if that level of enforcement of the social contract weren't left to the whims of private parties. That is notionally part of why we employ police.
There is probably an interesting observation here somewhere on the difference in social contracts between Tokyo (or Paris, Berlin, or London circa 2005, maybe?) and San Francisco or Portland.
You misunderstand.
The difference in "social contracts" between Tokyo and all those other places you mentioned is that, in those other places, the social contract is "you don't get to have safe streets or go to the park and not get harassed by gangs because that's what we believe to be social justice".
The question would not fall to the whim of private parties (as in, the other party in the social contract) in the first place if society at large bothered to uphold a productive social contract, as it does in Tokyo. The entire problem is that society has intentionally broken what the social contract used to be, and would now rather form one with the gangs allied against you than the reverse because #BLM was more fun.
The police enforce this version of the contract; that's why barely anyone got arrested for rioting in 2020. A member of the public stood up and put them down, though; the biggest impact was not "3 BLM protestors died", but because it sent a message to the now-aggrieved by the changed social contract that they could fight back too.
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yeah it's true for the individual scale because that is where is is applicable. Taking more confrontational approach may work 9/10 times and the 10th time it goes badly because the other person was having a bad day. This is assuming the police are not present. it's not like you always have the luxury of time to wait for the cops to come.
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