The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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Cassandra complex
You can work your way backwards from here if you'd like the history.
While working with my therapist, I've provided her with the emails and chat logs between my wife and the scammers. I've also provided her with recent text chats between my wife and I. There was a period in 2011 where my wife's behavior seemed similar to now, I was able to find emails between my wife and my mother that provided some insight into her mental state at that time. I also recently found a letter / log my wife wrote in 2011, I hadn't realized how bad things were then.
Based on this and talking to me for ~8 hours or so she's very confident that my wife has BPD.
I've read Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and saw alot of my wife and our interactions in the text.
I'm reading Stop Walking on Eggshells now.
Though I now have a better understanding of the dynamics and my role in it, this knowledge is not as useful / helpful as I would like. I feel like I'm watching someone drown while they insist they're swimming. I may have preferred the ignorance. Understanding exactly what's happening, why it's happening, and being powerless to intervene is uniquely frustrating. I've been struggling to give this over to God.
I wish I had a picture of my therapists face when I asked her if the sons of BPD mothers marry BPD women. 😑
My wife has an attorney, finally. We've a 4 party conference tomorrow.
Much respect for working hard in a difficult situation, and good luck for tomorrow.
One word of caution: be careful relying on your therapist’s judgment about external individuals. By the nature of the interaction she gets the evidence you select for her and is predisposed to see things your way, so remember to account for that.
Thanks.
The 4 party conference did not go well. We're in court on motions next week.
I’m sorry to hear it.
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