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Small-Scale Question Sunday for November 9, 2025

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Loving Someone... has explained many of the puzzling scenarios, responses, and situations over the last 20 years. If only I'd read it 15 years ago. I think the tools and techniques would have been very helpful.

My particular circumstances are not as severe as many of the situations described. In 20 years, in 2011, on one occasion was the only talk of suicide. To my knowledge there's been no actual self harm. Though in a letter written in 2011, she says she's hiding symptoms from me and our marriage counselor. 🙁

It all seems so obvious now.

Too soon to say for 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' ask me again next week.

I've ordered a copy of Understanding the Borderline Mother my MIL is almost certainly BPD.

I hope your friend finds a path forward.

I haven't read the above two but Understanding the Borderline Mother is a lot. The good news is that Lawson's prose is engaging instead of dry.

Otherwise, however dramatic or severe some of the descriptions are, some of those were creepily accurate compared to my experiences with a mother who almost certainly suffers from BPD. I just laughed when I got to the bit about the Borderline Witch's motto: "Life is War". Sure as shit was for her, and she joined the Marines to learn how to win.

Has she gone to therapy? I know multiple people with BPD that have been meaningfully helped by going through DBT, where earlier attempts at therapy did little to nothing.

She did counseling and maybe some cbt in 2011 also took a ssri. She seemed to improve at the time. She does not think there's anything wrong with her.

She does not think there's anything wrong with her.

Then DBT is unlikely to help.

Yes, from what I've read the lack of insight is an impediment to improvement.