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Notes -
It's possible there is some mix-up between regional terminology and technical rankings. But as I have always used them, the "den leader" term is for the actual, on-the-paperwork adult in charge of a den. A "den mother" would be another parent, probably a mom, nowadays always an on-the-paperwork volunteer (but maybe not in the Olden Days of 1990), who would focus on more nurturing aspects. Stuff like making sure no kid skipped breakfast on a camping trip, that a dad might be more likely to just ignore or shrug off.
There's a similar dynamic on my son's middle school football team. There is a group of coaches, mostly dads, all men. And there is another group of "team mom's" who do things like self-organize rotations to make sure the players are provided with Gatorade and snacks at halftime and after the game. The "team mom" role is so female-coded that they don't even bother to reach out to me (single dad) for my turn in the rotation. Instead, they contact my mother (who, in fairness, was a longtime and committed volunteer when I was little and is more than happy to keep going for the grandkids).
I remember 'den mom' was just the word for a female den leader, and that one did not become a den leader unless your son was in that den(but moms and dads had equal opportunity to volunteer). Again, I was under eleven, so maybe there's dynamics I'm missing.
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