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Small-Scale Question Sunday for December 28, 2025

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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His wife would be more attracted to him if he indicates that he's looking around for a chance to cheat on her?

One of us is mistaken in our views of how women behave!

Look, these are (1) friends of wife (2) lesbians/bisexuals (3) possibly some indication of a crush at one time on wife. She's mildly flattered but not interested by the idea, and is happy to maintain a friendship with them. Then out of the blue comes "we want your husband to give us a kid" and the offer comes from the bisexual member. Husband does not (if I'm taking the right interpretation here) immediately respond with shock and horror and flee into the night to preserve his virtue, but admits on here that yeah he's kinda into the idea.

I very much doubt missus would be happy for another woman to be this upfront about taking her husband, especially if the impression missus had was that one or both of the ladies was interested in her, and I very seriously doubt missus would be delighted to learn husband was already thinking about putting it about, even if that was only on a theoretical level. And the end result will be to produce a kid, which may well have a demand on husband's time/money/attention and will be a rival to her own kids.

(A) They're out in public, hot woman subtly indicates interest in husband, husband seems not to notice, goes home with wife, is clueless when wife says "so about that hot woman..." "what hot woman?" Result: yeah she may well in that case "love the reminder that their man is attractive and desirable to other women", because there's no real danger of a rival there.

(B) They're invited over by friends who make the request that husband father a child on one of them, husband is signifying some level of interest, now there is a real danger of a rival or replacement here. Result: wife is not going to be happy about this scenario.

Knowing that other women find a man attractive is one of the most reliable triggers of female attraction. Look up preselection, social proof, and mate-choice copying. PUAs are well aware of this, and will use tricks like going out to pick up chicks while wearing a fake wedding ring.

It's not that women want their man to cheat of them, exactly; but neither do they want a man who is so unattractive that he has no opportunity to ever cheat. The female fantasy is a man who is so sexy that he plowed through a legion of girls before settling down with her, then remains loyal to his wife even though other girls keep propositioning him. But, by revealed preferences, women would much rather forgive a cheater than date a man who has no prospects of ever cheating; better to share an alpha than to have a whole beta to herself.

Knowing that a guy is desirable is one thing; having it rubbed in your face that your husband is so hot to trot he'll agree right in front of you means he doesn't find you desirable in the same way, and that's insulting.

do you really believe when I wrote "this whole ordeal," what I meant was actually 'wsgy telling his wife he was looking around to cheat on her'?

do you really believe when I wrote "wife would be more attracted to husband," what I meant was "wife is going to be happy about this scenario"?

I really struggle to believe you think I would sign on to either of those later statements

there will be a mix of emotions, not all of them positive, when a woman believes there are potential rivals for the same attractive man, but what she will be is more attracted to that man and behave in a way to keep him, e.g., jumping his bones when he gets a chance

even if this wasn't some urban at the very least progressive adjacent couple who talks about group sex, which is what they appear to me to be, this would be true

and yes, we apparently fundamentally have a different model of women

I guess we'll find out if he does agree to the proposal and how his wife behaves afterward. You can ask him if the first thing that happened when they got home after this was her jumping his bones?