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I have a theory that collapsing social norms play a big part in this- in the eighties and nineties single people were expected to go out dancing(etc) even if it wasn't their cup of tea. Nowadays only the very extroverted/promiscuous/partying do this. And, well, 'not a huge partier' is a legitimate preference to have(which most people share for their long term partners, on both sides of the gender divide). It's a whole thing where evaporative cooling of the normal modes of social interaction make those modes of social interaction less appealing for normies.
I've seen guys on twitter lament that the only women at bars, dance halls, etc are 'washed up party sluts' or whatever, with boomers wondering why guys think this way all of a sudden. And I have a sneaking suspicion that shy second grade teachers in the eighties were a lot more likely to go out dancing anyways than they are now- do you think they liked the club much back then? It's loud and it's after their bedtime and there really are a bunch of sleazy guys out to get them there. Phones and occasional hinge profiles are so much safer, even if they don't work.
While I agree that there may be some positive feedback loops that killed off the appeal of some types of social interactions, I think it's mostly just an excuse for many to continue scrolling. There's other social activities outside of hitting the club or bars that are also cooling off. I believe every possible activity is in competition with scrolling tiktok. The guys on twitter crying about party sluts in the club are just using it as an excuse to why they are not out there getting easy (according to them) women every weekend and are sitting refreshing their feed with 8 hour screen time on a weekend instead. Probably the first time in history when men are complaining about legions of easy women. What's easier? Dress up, get a fresh cut, allocate some cash, get at least one friend to do the same (nobody is going to the club alone) on a weekend or just stay in and scroll your favorite source of dopamine instead? I think it's really that simple. I'm guessing we would be back to early 2000s state of things within a year if our phones just poofed one day. Back to what I said in my original post, 7 to 9 hours of screen time daily, with half of it being off work is truly insane and we all kind of just accept it. As on old zoomer, 4 hours of screen time was my allowance with my xbox 360 on a weekend after a week of good grades. Now everyone, from young to old, has this as their daily baseline. Even Elon Musk, the richest person in the world, is glued to his twitter feed while running 67 companies at the same time. He is able to remain functional (even that is debatable) because of his naturally high agency and a curated cocktail of medications and supplements. An average person doesn't have either. On the bright side, natural selection will probably do its thing pretty quickly and humanity will be back to normal after a generation or two because everyone else will die off glued to their screen and talking to their AI caretaker
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You're also more likely to meet someone that's part of your community at the local dance. You're there with your friends, he's there with his friends, there may be some mutual acquaintances, someone you know and trust may be able to vouch for his character, etc. It's a much safer way to date for a woman.
A lot of the complaints about women having unrealistic standards seems to come from dating apps, and I feel like it may partially be a form of risk mitigation. When you know nothing else about a man, you start looking for higher standards for what you can find out about him, to compensate for unknowns. A man that makes 6 figures and spends 20% of it frivolously has a better chance of providing for his family than a man that makes 50k a year and does the same thing.
Also dating apps make it way easier to just close something down off a small speedbump and move onto the next potential. There's no anchoring from overlapping social circles and a chance you'll keep bumping back into somebody.
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