The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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I'm not going to sugarcoat it. The next few months are going to be the worst part of your life (so far). It really is that bad. People don't like to talk about things like this. I am only doing it because I'm a few drinks in on New Years Eve.
The one bright spot is that doctors tend to be pretty liberal with prescribing pain meds for stage 4 cancer patients. It helps if you and/or whoever accompanies your father to his doctor's appointments presents as not being the kind of person who would misappropriate generous opioid prescriptions.
You are going to be visiting him every weekend. Every chance you get to see your father is a treat. This is what will get you through the week.
Work will be the only time you will be able to get your mind off of the situation. In time, you will find this as something also to be cherished.
Things will be particularly hard on the primary caretaker. Dealing with the physical consequenses of the disease will be left mostly to her. I notice you said "his wife" instead of "my mother". Whatever her relationship to you, she is now the second most important person in your life.
Everything is going to suck for a while, and then you'll be fine. You don't have cancer. You have the rest of your life in front of you once this is over. You will survive.
Good luck. Your family is counting on you.
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