site banner
PaperclipPerfector  10hr ago (text post)   190 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for January 2, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Court opinion:

  • A woman is standing in front of a supermarket shelf, contemplating a purchase. An employee comes up next to her, kneels on the floor with one leg sticking out behind him, and starts stocking the shelf. The woman notices the employee's presence. Nevertheless, 30 to 60 seconds after the employee's arrival, she walks away, trips over the employee's outstretched leg, and sustains injuries.

  • The woman sues the supermarket, but the trial judge speedily dismisses the case.

    [The court] has stretched in every direction to determine how, in the absence of a case, rule, regulation, manual or anything else, this can be determined to be a dangerous condition created by the [supermarket] with which thus would have caused the injury to the plaintiff. And the court just simply cannot reach that conclusion.

    A genuine issue of material fact must be created for a jury to consider. This strains the definition, in the court's opinion, of a genuine issue of material fact. This is a normal interaction in a supermarket. There are shoppers that are coming and going. Shoppers that could be kneeling down trying to obtain an item on a lower shelf. Shoppers moving back and forth. Employees moving back and forth, moving things onto shelves, off the shelf. Nothing here appears to be outside the normal operation of a supermarket, as the court would understand it or know it.

  • The appeals panel affirms.

    By her own account, plaintiff was aware of the employee's presence and activities for a significant period of time before she turned to leave. She was thus under an obligation to exercise reasonable care after retrieving her item and walking away.

    Moreover, we agree with the trial court that the employee's extended leg did not create a dangerous condition subjecting [the supermarket] to liability because it did not create an unforeseeable risk of harm and there was no defect in the property itself. Plaintiff's failure to heed the presence of the employee who was performing a routine supermarket activity—where there were no visual or lighting impairments—does not create a dangerous condition of the premises.

Court opinion with hilariously hentai facts but also an interesting legal issue:

  • One evening, defendant was sitting on the couch watching a movie with his daughter, age three, and son, age eighteen months. Defendant's daughter adjusted her position and brushed up against defendant's genital area. He became aroused. Defendant went to the kitchen pantry, put honey on his penis, and returned to the couch with his penis exposed. Defendant then allowed both children to lick the honey off his penis.

  • The three-year-old informs the wife. The wife confronts the husband, and he confesses to her. The wife informs the couple's pastor. Both the wife and the pastor urge the husband to confess to the police. The wife and the pastor inform local police. Simultaneously but separately, the husband confesses, first to a 911 dispatcher, then to a municipal police officer over the phone, and finally to a state police officer in an extended in-person interview. The standard Miranda rights aren't read to him until he gets to the state police.

  • The husband is charged with seven felonies, pleads guilty to two of them, and is sentenced to 15 years in prison (with the possibility of parole after 13 years). He appeals, arguing that the dispatcher and the two officers misleadingly implied in their interrogations that he was not a criminal suspect and would be able to escape with merely counseling rather than prison.

  • The appeals panel rejects this argument. (1) "We emphasize at the outset that defendant was not in custody when he called 911 and spoke to the dispatcher." "The dispatcher's comments that defendant was 'doing the right thing by coming forward' and that [the municipal officer] would 'get [defendant] the best help' simply do not rise to the level of the repeated, explicit assurances made in [two cases where this argument was accepted]." (2) "Defendant is hard pressed to argue he did not believe he was a suspect in the crime that he had already confessed to. Furthermore, [the municipal officer]'s assertion that he was 'not familiar with the whole situation' was, in substance, true. And, finally, at the risk of repetition, this conversation occurred via phone. Defendant was not in custody." "Like the dispatcher's statements—and quite unlike the detectives' assertions in [a case where this argument was accepted]—[the municipal officer]'s reply does not constitute an affirmative representation that defendant will not face criminal charges or penal consequences." (3) "[The state officer]'s words do not in our view constitute an affirmative misrepresentation that somehow undermined defendant's waiver of his right against self-incrimination or was otherwise inappropriate, warranting judicial condemnation." "By comparison [with three cases where this argument was accepted], [the state officer]'s remarks are innocuous."

News article:

  • A person buys a defunct group home, converts it to a six-bedroom single-family house, and rents out the bedrooms. The building has a sprinkler system, as the code requires of group homes, but the system is broken. The owner spends 4 k$ on repairs, but the system breaks again, and he declines to spend another 6 k$ on more repairs, since a sprinkler system is not required in a single-family house.

  • Municipal code enforcement cites the owner for failing to maintain the sprinkler system. It argues that, once a sprinkler system has been installed, that system must be maintained and cannot be removed, even though it would not be required under the current use.

  • The owner appeals, arguing that code enforcement's interpretation is wrong. The code-enforcement board agrees with him and rules that the sprinkler system can be removed.

Court opinion:

  • A developer buys a defunct golf course and submits an application to redevelop it with two warehouses. The municipal zoning officer denies the application, because (inter alia) it does not show all the existing steep slopes on the land. The developer appeals, arguing that the manmade steep slopes of the defunct golf course are not included within the "natural resources" that the municipal zoning code requires an applicant to identify.

  • The zoning board denies the appeal, and the trial judge and the appeals panel affirm. "Natural resources" are defined in the municipal zoning code as "existing natural elements relating to land" and to include "steep slopes". The plain dictionary definition of "natural resources" includes manmade environmental features such as parks. And, under state precedent, any law that applies to "steep slopes" applies to both manmade and natural slopes unless the law explicitly states otherwise, since whether an originally manmade slope becomes "natural" 10, 30, or 100 years after its creation "is the sort of 'thorny bordering on philosophical' question best avoided by courts and left to legislation and policymaking".

I have to be real with you — infants being abused by their pederast father is not my idea of "fun".

I said "hilariously hentai facts". I would not be surprised to find a similar storyline in a literal hentai manga.

Don't post that shit here. I think you go to efforts to find cases that contain 'legal interests' when your interest is obviously prurient (like you asking posters what they think about during masturbation, or that other case of sexual abuse you found 'funny'). Then you sandwich it all in a big post where other idiots respond to other parts of the post.

I checked all the opinions posted by New Jersey courts in the past week, plus some Pennsylvania appellate decisions, and came up with three opinions—one that was funny (supermarket), one that was interesting (developer), and one that was both funny and interesting (honey). I decided to add a judicial-adjacent newspaper article that I happened to have read, and to hold over for next week three non-judicial items that I also wanted to post. You can believe that or not.

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats