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Hey, he's a colorectal surgeon. The toilets might be like a second office for him! 😁
Yeah, asking someone to meet you in the loo should be suspicious. On the other hand, if they were arranging a "date" (cough cough) then it might be for mutual privacy reasons. They're meeting up in the workplace, maybe they don't want colleagues to know about this or maybe one or both of them are not out at work. If they're seen chatting in the canteen or wherever by others, that's gossip fuel. A discreet, private, secluded place for first contact? Toilets are not the worst idea! X goes into the public toilet followed later by Y? Any bystanders will first assume they're just using the facilities for the intended purpose, not hooking up. It's a hospital bathroom, not the bathroom at a pub or club.
Is it really? I don't work in a hospital, maybe the culture is wildly different, but I can't imagine seeing two coworkers chatting in a public place at work and thinking that was worth mentioning to anyone. Even if I thought both were gay, "Preliminary meet and greet as precursor to later activities" wouldn't even occur to me; much less if I thought one was straight.
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Now, I'll have to ask my (far too many) gay buddies about the finer etiquette of illicit gay romance once I'm back in Scotland, but at the moment, I'm imagining just how I'd die if I tried to convince the average woman on a dating app to meet me in the loo.
On a more serious note, there are tons of places that aren't the woods (the first choice, sadly shot down, read the tribunal minutes) or a hospital toilet. Doctors are allowed to step out of the hospital, mostly. How hard is it to grab a coffee at Costa's after work??? There really are so many better candidates that it just doesn't add up.
That sounds like what Mr A wanted (if we can believe his varying accounts) but Dr S wanted "sex first, don't talk to me ever again after". So the loo was maybe a compromise choice. It sounds like a really bad idea all round, but equally clearly neither of them were thinking with their brains.
I've said female and male sexuality are very different, and I think this is one more grain of sand on the evidence pile. Yeah, most women would indeed hit you with a rock if you suggested meeting up for a first 'date' in a toilet. (Some would not! There are stupid/horny women out there, too!) But gay men seem to operate on "this is what 100% male sexuality is like without women to soften it down".
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They'll probably have a better idea than I do, given what it sounds like they're up for from the last talk, but from my understanding:
It varies from person to person, and some people just can't manage to plan a more discreet approach, without the ability to set up something like a hourly motel room (eg, if a wife can access his credit card statements) or bath house (eg, if you don't want to be seen in a bath house). There's a lot of drama around 'can host' as a result, here, in grindr sphere spaces. Possibly including this guy, given the whole 'I'm Tots Straight In Monogamous Het Relationship' bit.
... but for those with it as a kink, it seems pretty overtly about the risk of potentially getting caught, the violation of norms, and the degradation. So the stuff that's a problem for you (or me!) is part of the point in the fantasy.
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