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Wellness Wednesday for January 7, 2026

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Content warning: excessive amounts of degenerate TMI

Today I went to the sex club I patronize for what might or might not have been the tenth time. (The reason for uncertainty will become clear shortly.)

Over the years I had a few sexual firsts there, many awesome experiences and many barely mediocre ones. Two times I got turned away at the door, the second one for simply being too ugly for the standard set for the night, the first time under the pretense of me being high. Don't get me wrong, I was on benzos that night, but I'm on them every time I visit, and nobody said anything before or after, plus, @self_made_human, are there even any telltales in a stranger whose baseline behavior you don't know?

In this occasion a first was a woman initiating a conversation in the bar area, carrying it on for a minute, and taking me by hand into a room to give me head without reciprocation or anything else. Previously I would have called this sequence the golden standard of genuine attraction, the only kind of attraction that is not some other consideration disingenuously called attraction to muddy the waters, like when they put out because of your personality. I'm eager to find out how my mind will rationalize that this still doesn't count and I'm definitionally unattractive.

Having started on a great note, the evening quickly went downhill. You see, when you attend as a single man, you either need two heaps, of natural or augmented charisma, and of luck, because single girls are almost non-existent, and girls who are a part of a couple are almost always interested only in other couples. So by default you prowl and prowl and prowl between areas, constantly bumping into the same set of other beggars, trying to be in the right place at the right time to have something exciting include you. It generally works, but it's a depressing and shameful process, and with a low turnout today I thought it'd finally fail. (I made this sound too miserable. You see lots of hot live-performance porn in the process.)

(One time I attended with a girl. When I pointed out that while yes, I had previously said that just chilling for the entire duration in the bar area is an absolutely legitimate option, I had honestly assumed it would be Plan B in case she decided against engaging in anything despite her stated interests, not Plan A&Only, she started crying. It was not the same girl who cried for the Na'Vi.)

Still, it finished great too. Right by the closing time I had an interaction with a girl which situation was nothing like came in the fluffer, but in my degenerate broken psyche registered as a cute interaction, and the most positive emotions I felt towards a non-relative member of the opponent sex for a long time.

Being barred out can be obvious, but only when someone is fucked. Otherwise it's similar in presentation to someone being drunk: slurring, swaying, staring at you blankly, taking ages to respond. But less agitated (usually), not flushed. If you can't smell alcohol coming off someone like that, benzos are the safe bet.

Thanks for the info. Fairly sure it was not that, because I definitely was not in such a state, having taken only a doctor-prescribed dose (admittedly for purposes other than being able to pick up deviants in a deviant place) and having the judgement on me made after maybe one my line, maybe before I said anything at all.