putanumonit.com
Primarily relevant to here through the discussion of what people claim to find attractive vs. choose, but also considers various other measures of attractiveness. I dont agree with all these analyses but think its worth posting simply for considering the topic in a lot more detail then Ive previously seen.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
This was an interesting article. I found myself thinking of my wife's cousin. She's:
Hot - I'd say 8+
Probably a decent lay. I know she at least does anal and has some serious practice.
Intelligent and funny. Definitely something that would be an acquired taste but I could enjoy it and think most men with a sense of humor would. (At the risk of too explaining too much, what I mean is she has a very specific and dry way of being these things - of course they're intrinsically valuable to anyone)
Financially successful
Now of course the bad - she's "crazy" in the sense that I've seen some texts pop off she's sent to men that would kill any relationship in its infancy. She's sent a snapchat saying "I'm going to fuck this guy" at 10pm and by 9am reported that she felt sexually assaulted.
This article presupposes that women who are unsuccessful romantically would benefit from some guidance. A self-help book that understands real physical attractiveness and FDS without the hardcore misandry in associated subreddits.
No fucking way. You could have the perfect self-help book on attracting a great male mate and it wouldn't affect someone's ability in the dating game at all. I have never met a woman who's open to hearing about real strategy. There are simply other concerns that take precedence - the pleasure of lashing out at someone and saying their dick's small, the enjoyment of having multiple male partners, the sublime freedom of movement that being unattached conveys, avoiding the inconvenience and discomfort of raising kids.
Imagine - a woman over thirty who is not a raddled hag? What miracle of nature is this?
I'll say one thing: this entire thread is very educational about what do men want, and women really should read it 😁
Yeah.... after re-reading this post it doesn't come off entirely the way I want it to or get across what I'm trying to. Though bullet 2 is definitely tongue-in cheek.
Out of curiosity, what is the appeal of heterosexual sodomy? Why is it a selling point for this women to "do anal"? If it's two men in situational homosexuality (e.g. in prison, on a sailing ship, so on) who are desperate for a hole to stick it in, fine - but cis women have vaginas which are handily designed by nature to accommodate the penis.
I do think this is one of those porn things that has slipped into (relatively) mainstream expectations, the way fellatio was something a whore or your slave would do for you, but is now commonplace as part of what is expected in a sexual relationship, so that it's even considered vanilla.
From the women's side, I can get "you have to do it because men expect it" (allegedly some women enjoy it, though I wonder how much of that is enjoying the idea of being sexually liberated and experienced to be able to do this act), but why do men expect it? That it's uncommon so the woman must be really into you/you are a real stud if you can get her to do this? But it seems to be becoming more common. "I saw it in porn and I think everybody is supposed to be doing it, so I tried it too"? What? Just the whole idea of novelty, that now sex is easy to get without the expectations of marriage and what were formerly obscure or considered depraved acts are common, so the ante has to be upped more and more to be spicy and exciting and not the same old thing? After this, what next? Stick it in her ear (that's about the only orifice left)?
I believe there's two appeal groups:
Direct - Novelty, sensation/"tightness", visual appeal, no risk of pregnancy, the ass is actually a nerve center
Indirect - An element of submission/degradation, someone being willing to "let you in" anywhere despite the impracticality and additional overhead of prep and cleanup. This could be its own top level post.
I do see anal as something that's slipped into mainstream expectations but a lot of people forget the prep required for it. There are other sexual overton window shifts - analingus is one of life's sublime pleasures, and so having it discussed in virtually every rap song/tinder pickup line now is simultaneously satisfying and frustrating. It piggybacks off of mainstream activities like taking a shower together really easily, but I remember being made fun of for it when I was single (despite all my partners enjoying it).
While I understand lamenting the shift in expectations, I don't see either of these as game-breaking things that shouldn't be part of a valuable sexual relationship. "Good, Giving, Game" sex (defined way back in the early 00's) was how I always approached these things. So when a potentially enjoyable act requires purchasing a $4 bottle of astroglide or just timing it after a shower I have a hard time seeing why some line's been crossed.
I suppose I'm Just Too Old, but while I realise that there are a lot of nerve endings around the anus, I don't care how recently you showered: you want to put your tongue/want someone else to put their tongue in and around the place where excrement comes out. That seems a bad idea. Especially since I read a couple of years back an article by a gay guy lamenting that he (1) loved rimming with strangers (2) had, on three separate occasions, contracted some gastrointestinal disease I can't remember the name of (I think it was this one but can't be sure) from doing it. Naturally this was the fault of the government for not warning him and other gay men about it. Me, I think if you get the same disease three times from doing the same thing, that you know has a high risk of giving you this disease, you shouldn't need the government to tell you not to do it. Oh, and his boyfriend/domestic partner also contracted it later the same way. Bad government, not telling them they shouldn't do the thing that they knew would make them sick!
And if you don't see how a line has been crossed in "we're mainstreaming sticking your tongue up someone's ass/having heterosexual sodomy from being something only seen in porn to something ordinary people do", I don't know when you'll see a line about "so what is the big deal about zoophilia/necrophilia/cloning yourself and having sex with your hot 17 year old virgin self?"
After all, that was one of the complaints in Byron's divorce case; his wife claimed he forced her to engage in anal sex with him:
Well N=1 but I ain't contracted shit in terms of diseases. I do recall the only time I publicly disputed the party line being pushed by my bird class (human sexuality) professor was related to the topic. I don't do spontaneous ass-eating sessions though. I could be wrong, but carpe diem.
Re: anal being an uncrossable line... I don't connect fucking a horse to a human partner risking minor discomfort for potential pleasure. Or raping your wife. Admittedly, that may be just me! But if it's unpleasant for someone, it is what it is; I don't think buttsex should be considered standard equipment.
Cloning myself with an extra X chromosome at 17 is quite an interesting thought experiment. We'd probably have a great time if I didn't have a sister to bias myself against the experience.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link