This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I'm not going to read the article, but just in the URL I can see my wife's two favorite books she made me read.
The book thing is so weird. A female friend has commented that she would kill for a man who doesn't play vidya and reads real books (where real is defined as non-YA and non-self-help). To then try to filter based on whether a man is reading the "correct" non-problematic books is hilariously picky.
I think this is one of those cases where the things people complain about in romantic partners (problematic beliefs in men, women being "crazy" or demanding) are actually more like revealed preference in favor of associated attributes than they are negative judgments.
People complain about downsides belonging to partners they made love to, they aren't even aware of the downsides of those they don't.
More options
Context Copy link
[Does this]
Doesn't seem that complicated to me. There are a bunch of ancillary skills can that make this tolerable, but people who have to take the book advice thing from social media generally don't possess those nor can they realistically develop them at this point.
But leading with that is just kind of a symptom of, like, just being low-quality in general. At least the 6/6/6-seekers [with few other qualifications] are honest about how naked that self-interest is, and are selecting for people who also do that, as they should. It doesn't make for a great marriage, but neither do the "you read wrongthink books" people.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link