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PaperclipPerfector  6d ago (text post)   26556 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of January 26, 2026

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In an update on the case of the 5 year old kid in a blue hat taken away by ICE, Judge orders release of 5-year-old detained by immigration authorities in Minnesota.

I was curious what the judge actually wrote, so I delved into the actual court opinion which I found here: https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.txwd.1172886492/gov.uscourts.txwd.1172886492.9.0_3.pdf . And it seems this judge clowned himself with the most insane deranged court opinion I've ever seen. I've seen some performative court opinions, but I think this one takes the cake with gems like:

Apparent also is the government's ignorance of an American historical document called the Declaration of Independence.

Civics lesson to the government: Administrative warrants issued by the executive branch to itself do not pass probable cause muster. That is called the fox guarding the henhouse. The Constitution requires an independent judicial officer.

Observing human behavior confirms that for some among us, the perfidious lust for unbridled power and the imposition of cruelty in its quest know no bounds and are bereft of human decency. And the rule of law be damned.

Interestingly, the court opinion makes exactly 0 legal arguments to support its decision.

I'm increasingly disappointed that activist judges aren't even pretending to be arbiters of the law, but are just doing whatever they want. Of course you expect an enemy judge to make his decision and figure out the justification later, but you expect them to at least think backwards and figure out some kind of fig leaf of legalese to claim that he actually believe that is the law. Instead this judge makes a mockery of the process. And of course for whatever reason, federal judges have never been punished for not doing their jobs.

At least the kayfabe of pretending we live in a country with laws I think is critical for legitimacy. At least for now the court of appeals can write a quick "your a retard" order on Monday, but even so it's a bad look.

For a neutral-ish perspective on the court opinion, try giving an AI the court opinion and asking what it thinks.

PS: AI told me that that the same judge is a known joker and is known for writing this punny though legally sound opinion here: https://storage.courtlistener.com/harvard_pdf/8725121.pdf

Related article:

The saga of Judge Pauline Newman is well known. For three years, the Federal Circuit has not assigned any new cases to Judge Newman because she refuses to obtain certain medical tests. Back in April 2023, I described this process as a stealth impeachment. A judge without any cases is no longer a judge.

I suspect the most obvious reply is that there is a difference between impeaching a judge and simply taking away their cases. After all, Judge Newman retains her fixed compensation and title. I am not so convinced. A judge's job is to decide cases. Imagine that Congress passed a statute providing that any judge who rules against President Trump will no longer be assigned any new cases, but they can keep their salary and title. Or what if Congress were to pass a statute divesting jurisdiction over every suit filed against the executive branch in Boston, and reassign those cases to the Amarillo Division of the Northern District of Texas. How would Judge Young and his colleagues respond?

Imagine that a federal judge decided that he would no longer offer any rationales for his decisions. He would simply invite the parties to court, listen to their arguments, and announce a judgment for the plaintiff or the defendant from the bench, and then adjourn court. Following that oral order, the clerk would enter a judgment for the prevailing party. The judge explains that he only needs to issue an order, and no statute requires him to explain his reasoning. The Circuit Court consistently reverses this judge's rulings, and grants writs of mandamus, but the judge continues his practice.

Based on this "pattern or practice" of rulings, many litigants in the district file misconduct complaints. Could this complaint proceed, and if so, could the Judicial Council order that no new cases would be assigned to the judge until he begins to issue reasoned decisions for at least some of his rulings?

Let me offer a fanciful hypothetical (perhaps not as fanciful as a hypo about the Alien Enemies Act and the British invasion). Imagine that a federal judge decided that he would no longer offer any rationales for his decisions. He would simply invite the parties to court, listen to their arguments, and announce a judgment for the plaintiff or the defendant from the bench, and then adjourn court. Following that oral order, the clerk would enter a judgment for the prevailing party. The judge explains that he only needs to issue an order, and no statute requires him to explain his reasoning. The Circuit Court consistently reverses this judge's rulings, and grants writs of mandamus, but the judge continues his practice.

Sometimes I wish the Volokh conspiracy contributors wouldn't make it so patently obvious that they never practiced law a day in their lives.

It’s pretty obvious that Blackman is referencing the kind of cases that customarily require an opinion being drafted; not the basic motion practice for many attorneys.

Except no such category of cases exists. There are categories of cases that are more likely to get an opinion, but that's no guarantee that you're going to get one, even if the trial judge really likes to hear himself talk. I have had a few cases where the judge wanted us to provide additional briefs on a relatively new argument we were making and I thought he might issue an opinion but he didn't, even though he seemed interested in the legal basis of a hearsay exception that he made up himself.

This seems pedantic. You know what Blackman means. High stakes important cases where opinions are common. Most lawyers don’t practice in that space but Blackman is talking about cases that will go to circuit cases frequently and are of import.

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