This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Yes, I think we're extremely well-matched in terms of physical attractiveness. Specifically each other's league as it were. We both find each other very hot. Between the two of us I might be the objectively more-attractive one but not by a lot and her youth goes a long way toward closing that (notional) gap in a manner that feels sustainable -- no matter how old I get, she's younger than me enough that she occurs as much more attractive than any women my age. I enjoy the stares she gets when I take her out to nice places; other men dating older women seem to have a hard time taking their eyes off of her and what can I say except that this works for me.
When we started dating she was mistaken for a highschooler a couple of times (actually in her 20s) and while we never went out of our way to generate the age-gap-curiosity stares we did enjoy laughing about it when it happened. She's old enough now, and I seem to be preserving myself well-enough, that it happens less often, which is good also. I'd say it was fun but it's also nice to draw a bit less attention nowadays.
God Bless.
I see enough 'mismatched' couples appearancewise that I always wonder at what else is cementing their bond. Having it all is wonderful.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link