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Friday Fun Thread for February 27, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Imagine you're in a wrong bank at a wrong time, and you get taken as a hostage while a heist crew tries to escape with the cash / bearer bonds / gold bars. One by one they are taken out by the police or by in-fighting, until the last one perishes in a car wreck that leaves you alone with a goodie duffel bag in a crashed vehicle. What is the best course of action to keep the stolen valuables to yourself?

Depends on how identifiable you are. Most likely scenario is that your are identifiable and nothing can allow you to take the money and run.

In the unlikely case that you are unidentifiable you take some gold and run. If you get caught quickly you plead that you were threatened to take the gold to a second location. If you do not get caught immediately, take the gold, learn some gold smithing online, craft some crappy gold jewelry and pawn it off over time.

Better money making scenario is that you sue the bank for damages for your hostage situation. They will maybe settle with you for more than you could steal.