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Culture War Roundup for the week of March 16, 2026

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As a Republican who was broadly onboard with toppling Iran well before the most recent flare up, I would like to offer an alternate narrative to the one about Trump is a Joe-Biden-esqe meat puppet being controlled by a zionist cabal, that seems to be the popular consensus here.

First off what does winning look like, in the eyes of team Trump?

Ideally, Iran makes a credible and verifiable commitment to dismantling their nuclear weapons program and stop supplying arms to HAMAS, Hezbollah, the Houthis, Russian Federation, Et Al. Less Ideally, we turn them into a failed state that wouldn't be able to muster up a nuclear weapons program even if they wanted one. If the choice is between reducing Iran to Afghanistan-esque hodge-podge of pre-industrial warring tribes and giving the IRGC access to nuclear missiles we choose to turn Iran into another Afghanistan.

Importantly we are not going to do the Clinton or Obama thing where we give them a whole bunch of cash and trade concessions in exchange for a pinky-promise not to act up again and then sit on our thumbs when they renege on those promises 6-monthes later. While I'm not privy to the specifics my guess is that the plan is to hold Kharg Island hostage to force Iranian compliance.

How is this in American interests? I think it is just as valid to ask as how is it not?

While there is something of an isolationist streak present in the online right the prevailing attitude amongst the wider GOP is that if the US is going to occupy the role of hegemon we must play the role.

First, I think it needs to be pointed out that, with the Biden-era environmental limits removed the US is once again a net petroleum exporter and the US economy is much better situated to weather possible energy-trade disruptions than say China is.

As the global hegemon, international trade flows freely (and for the most part safely) largely thanks to guarantees that are enforced by the US Navy. If the US is the world's cop, Iran is not some innocent brown kid who got shot for no reason, they're the habitual bad actor with dozens of prior complaints and arrests.

From my perspective democrats' attitude towards the Iranian regime seems to echo their attitudes towards illegal immigration, violent crime. If you ask them if they want violent schizophrenics on the train they'll answer "no", but at the same time they will vehemently oppose anyone who looks like they might try to stop violent schizophrenics from stabbing people on trains. They seem to view the occasional train stabbing or ballistic missile attack as simply the price of doing business.

If the choice is between reducing Iran to Afghanistan-esque hodge-podge of pre-industrial warring tribes and giving the IRGC access to nuclear missiles we choose to turn Iran into another Afghanistan.

What if actually trying to bomb Iran into the pre-industrial age would result in Iran retaliating by destroying every oil refinery, oil field, and desalinization plant within 1,500 miles? Still worth it?

I think this is a reasonable tactical concern, but at some point in practice, yielding to Iran (and its funding of terror groups across the Middle East) lest it start attacking other states in the region (even relatively uninvolved ones like Oman and Azerbaijan) and disrupt the global economy, starts to look like paying the Danegeld.

Although I'm not personally going to endorse this position, I think it sounds reasonable on principle.

"We have to attack them because if we attack them, they'll attack our allies" is strange logic.

Israel deliberately chose to allow Hamas to grow until it blew up in their face. Maybe they should do a better job managing the terror groups in their backyard next time (and hey, right now they are, so we're not needed).