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Culture War Roundup for the week of March 16, 2026

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America is a pretty chauvinistic and patriotic country but tomorrow if news came out that negotiations were underway to sell American Samoa or Puerto Rico or Guam, most people would actually not care. You'd get some rally-round-the-flag rah-rah and maybe the other side would shout accusations of selling the country out. But by-and-large the average man on the street would not care unless there were some other scandal involved. These are not core parts of America, we don't have some fantastical attachment to every last inch our "sovereign territory" actually. I can say this relatively confidently because nobody cared when the Philippines went, even though we fought a huge war to acquire it, nobody even noticed, it's a barroom trivia question now at best. Ryukyu Islands were American until 1972. Nobody cares.

So you want to tell me that maybe the politicians could negotiate, but the Danish voters can't possibly have that, and it's the most rational thing in the world. -- ? Why? What does the average Dane actually care about Greenland? Is it a core part of their nationhood? Do they all vacation in Greenland? Fond memories as boys? Does everyone in Denmark have Greenlandic friends, relatives, wives? Is Greenland a point of pride in Danish TV shows and media? Does Greenland form a core part of Denmark's economy? Greenlandic basketball star? Modeling agency? Because it seems like none of that is the case. As far as I can tell, nobody really thinks about Greenland at all, has nothing to do with it. The Danes committed a sterilization campaign there within recent memory. They could barely spare it a thought for defense during World War II, when the Americans had to step in before the Nazis did. So the fanatical Danish attachment to Greenland is based on... what, exactly? Can I not notice that this is extremely irrational?

Because from the beginning even before Trump made threats and boasts the Danes refused to even consider trading Greenland. Why? Is it beyond the pale? Is the ability of Greenlanders to sell technology and land to the Chinese an inviolable human right? Because all that seems to be left is that it's "bits of our continent" as if that settles the matter, it's theirs so we can't have it out of some exaggerated pride. Wailing about how they've been such a good boy and they don't deserve this. Threatening to blow it all up if they don't get their way. ???

A rational Danish leader would say, "well, it's a little goofy, but the Americans are a rich country, we're willing to hear them out as long as the rights of the Greenlanders are respected." The Americans would say, "$100 Billion," or whatever. The Danish public would say, wow, that's a lot of money, we can use this to make Denmark a better place. The Greenlanders would say, "Thanks, hm, we're not so sure but these are our demands." It would be easy and technical, like when the Danes sold us what are now the US Virgin Islands. Did they cry then and wail and complain that we were violating their core territorial sovereignty and stealing their continent? No, it was totally unimportant because nobody cares.

Maybe Greenland really is important to the Danes, but every time I ask I get drivel about human dignity and what good allies they've been. Since it can't be explained it seems totally irrational. Well, we have a pretty good model for this already, and you can groan as I repeat myself for the hundredth time, but, yes, say it with me, it looks like TDS. Trump wants Greenland, it's monarchical, it's what Hitler would do, America can't have Greenland it's about our dignity! Yeah, ok, sure, yeah, ok, whatever you say man.

Greenland is fairly important to Denmark and Danish politics, isn't? It was the topic of an entire season of Borgen in which Greenland-related issues nearly bring down the government. And in terms of population fraction it would be closer to the US selling off Mississipi than the smaller and more recently acquired American Samoa.

I'm not sure I buy this cool, businesslike approach that Americans would allegedly have to the selling of territory, especially if to a larger country, when we already know that isn't Trump's attitude to the buying of territory; he was hot and bothered and mooted military force when denied a negotiation. Your position seems to be "Yes but he never would have had to use aggression if they just did the rational thing and agreed to a negotiation, so really it's their own fault." Doesn't sound like how allies talk to me.

Denmark agreed to let Greenland leave Denmark if it wanted (and it does, in fact, want, as I understand it). So it's pretty clear that however important it is in Danish politics it's being part of Denmark is very negotiable.

I'm not sure I buy this cool, businesslike approach that Americans would allegedly have to the selling of territory

Isn't it much more polite (to Denmark) to offer to buy Greenland than to offer Greenland $5 billion to leave? In which case the Danes get nothing.