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Notes -
I want to say you've expressed it before. I find it deeply interesting, and it mirrors in many ways why I don't "get" homosexuality. However:
That's because it is tragic and depressing and makes homosexuals look bad. No one straight or gay has ever expressed the issue I lay out explicitly to me, but damn if I don't notice it, over and over and over, in all of my relationships and all of the relationships of gay men I have known in the past and the present. self_made questions the generalizability of what I describe but in my experience it's universal. I wouldn't advise asking your gay friends about it either, really, it is better left unspoken, though it is sad that it's such a dead end situation that I've come to the conclusion that you just have to work it out on your own and accept it for how it is.
I don't know. Please expand this? It seems like the qualities men and women compete at are almost always completely different fields. A woman may be powerful and strong and brave at social relationships and keeping a house and other traditionally feminine domains but it's emasculating and weird if she's powerful and strong and brave - compared to you, a man - at traditionally masculine domains. Women may not "brag about being cowards" but if she's the one stalking around with a shotgun at the sound of an intruder at midnight while you cower under some blankets it's a weird dynamic at best if not utterly embarrassing for both of you.
I wouldn't say universal: there's no few people who either don't feel it at all, only feel it to the sense that it's a fun psychological (or erotic) toy to play with, or actively enjoy the sense of being desired by someone 'better than them in all the ways that matter' or being able to support someone who's 'traditionally' masculine to do things that wouldn't work otherwise.
((And, conversely, I've absolutely known cisgender straight women who have complexes about their men being too much taller than them, and straight guys panicking about a prospective wife making more money than them, which is still seen as a masculine trait despite everything else going on.))
I understand it well enough that the stereotypical version can be a fun kink, but either it's transmuted into 'we're good at different things' - I'll do the home defense and house repair/troubleshooting, pretty much anyone else on the planet will do better than I can at spatial layout and almost any guy will beat me in an arm-wrestling contest - or I don't really grok it at the same level that most people do. And I sub for women, too, so not exactly representative for the gay ethos.
That said, I do recognize that a lot of people feel it, and a lot of more masc and masc-seeking gay guys feel it a lot more often.
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They can do. I was going out with a girl in Japan who reacted to quite a few things (including goldfish with bulgy eyes) as, “Scary!” which is Kowai!.
It was unfortunately only with the benefit of more experience and hindsight that I realised her intention was ‘scary (cute nuance)’ not ‘scary (I have the spine of a jellyfish nuance)’.
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