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PaperclipPerfector  6mo ago (text post)   27862 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of April 13, 2026

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So yeah, I do think that the arranged marriage/matchmaking thing still exists for 2nd gen South Asian Americans to a far greater extent than for (e.g.) East Asians. This plays a big role in finding matches for the men, who are the least desirable demographic out there and face a terrible slog on the apps.

But it takes two to tango, as they say, and I suspect the primary reason why the women are also available to be matched in the quasi-arranged marriage market is that white men are much less eager to snap them up as compared to East Asian women. IME the rates of WMIF dating relationships and marriages are roughly the same, so it’s not so much that South Asian women are fooling around with white dudes in their early 20s before settling down with a parentally-approved Nice Jewish Indian Boy From A Good Family right as the Wall approaches. It’s just that white guys aren’t asking them out all that much in the first place, and from my (single straight male) perspective it’s pretty easy to see why: East Asian women have more of the traits that men generally find attractive, viz. petite and slim build even after marriage/children, fair-but-not-ghostly-pale skin, and lack of body hair/body odor.

I also don’t think that 2nd gen South Asian Americans are that much more susceptible to parental pressures re: choice of spouse than East Asians. In both cases, the parents would prefer that their children (especially daughters) marry within the race and grumble but usually grudgingly accept if and when that doesn’t happen; and in both cases, at roughly equal rates in my anecdotal experience, sometimes the children acquiesce and sometimes they go their own way. The degree of submission to the parents depends mostly on the strength of the relationship with the parents, which again I think is not vastly different on average between East and South Asians.

Though if I had to hazard a guess, I suppose I would agree that South Asians (even 2nd gen) tend to defer to their parents somewhat more so than do East Asians, and both groups defer far more so than do whites.

IME the rates of WMIF dating relationships and marriages are roughly the same,

I haven't really found this to be the case. I think you are from the East Coast? Maybe things are different over there.

I did my time (twelve_years_of_it_in_azkaban.gif) in the Bay Area and things didn’t seem vastly different there. The biggest difference I noticed is that nerdy white male/East Asian female was always an extremely common pairing in the Bay but only recently (post-pandemic, roughly) became comparably prevalent on the East Coast.

I used to think it was purely a matter of the gender ratios: even a mid white guy in NYC can easily find (white) BPD art hoes, starving students, or fashion/publishing/journalism girlboss types, while mid white guys in the Bay are SOL without the boost they get in the eyes of East Asian women. But the gender ratios are the same as ever, if not even more lopsided than before, and yet WM(E)AF has only trended upward in NYC for the past half decade.

The biggest difference I noticed is that nerdy white male/East Asian female was always an extremely common pairing in the Bay

You know where this pairing is amusingly common? Outdoors. I do lots of hiking and have to stifle my laughter every time I see yet another WMAF couple out hiking.

It's the same people. Nerdy west coast people love hiking.

Funnily enough I am good friends with more IndianMaleChineseFemale couples than WMAF ones.....but that's likely because I know way more Indian males in general.

IndianMaleChineseFemale couples

Is it possible to learn this power? Uh, asking for a friend, of course

Doesn't seem like there is much of a pattern. In most cases it has to do with being a sensitive (but not feminine) dude who is a good listener. One was set up by a friend. One couple met in grad school. Another couple was part of a common friends group. One met on dating apps.

End of the day, having a diverse friends group is the best starting point. Most mixed-couples I know already had mixed friends groups.

Tfw when no small tiddy EAF to hike with :(

I believe in you. I see mid white guys hiking with EAFs, and if they can do it, you can, too.

Thanks! :o

Twelve years? My next explanation is that you are unc and things are different among the zillennials and zoomers.

lol no, the meme was meant to indicate that I spent too long in that hellscape (at least dating-wise) for crimes I didn’t commit

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