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PaperclipPerfector  14hr ago (text post)   416 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for May 3, 2026

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I suspect that my depression was, in hindsight, mostly due to a case of Shit Life Syndrome. Recently-ish, life improved and so did my mood.

However: I've written about my experience with a clinical trial for psilocybin. It worked wonders, even if the chemical didn't change the material aspects of my life or work. That was all the existence proof that I needed that I could be in a bad place, unhappy with how things were going, without necessarily feeling depressed about it. I've been on plenty of standard antidepressants, and they did fuck-all for me. That is not a general indictment of the class, the drugs aren't perfect, but they do work. For some people. Some of the time. NNT between 5-7. I feel this discrepancy in my bones, more than most psychiatrists do.

Then I dabbled with other substances, after my life got better. I would like to claim they helped, but the problem is that I was already feeling pretty good when I took them, and my main goal was to make the euthymia stick. It's been a month, and I'm doing well. I remember being terrified that I'd immediately relapse when I'm back to work, and that hasn't happened yet. Thank $Deity for that. If it does happen, I'm going to go see a psychiatrist and ask for IV ketamine, it's effective, particularly for treatment resistant cases like mine, and doesn't have the memory-loss issues of ECT.

And hey, if you need more tailored advice, DM me.

I have done a bunch of drugs recreationally, including a ton of psychedelics lol. Not tooooo interested in those, though perhaps I am overdue for another trip. Has been a few years.

$Deity has helped me quite a lot but yeah, I think a lot of it is refusing to change my life circumstances. $Deity has told me that before, now that I think of it...

All I can really say is that it's easier to treat depression and make lifestyle changes than the other way around, particularly for moderate to severe depression. At least that's my personal experience, there's enormous heterogeneity here.

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