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Culture War Roundup for the week of May 4, 2026

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men lie about sex too, especially in self-aggrandizing ways,

That indeed can sometimes happen, as I lampshaded with my consideration of "men exaggerating." What also happens is men hating on the experiences of other men to protect their own egos and the Wonderfulness of women.

When you do something that others perceive as unusual, there will often be haters—or ankle-biters if you will, to borrow a phrase you've used a few times.

(you do know that those "rape fantasies" are usually more like 50 Shades of Grey and not like Clockwork Orange, right? i.e.., they are fantasizing about being pleasurably dominated by an attractive man while abdicating responsibility for their own choices, not about some rando violently assaulting them)

I'm aware of such white-washing attempts to salvage women's rape fantasies, even if the white-washed version still lies outside the Overton window in popular discourse. Regardless of how true the white-washing is, the "rando" hypothetical is irrelevant. If a woman is having drinks with you alone in your apartment, chances are you're already much closer to Christian Grey in her eyes and much farther away from some "rando," just as Scalabrine is closer to Lebron than you or I are to the White Mamba.

that means 38% to 69% don't

...fantasize about it so strongly and frequently that they admit it in a study. I don't doubt there's a non-zero number of women who don't have rape fantasies. However, seeing as light-BDSM is well, lighter, than rape—the 31% to 62% is a floor for the proportion of women who are turned on by light-BDSM (or heavier).

Serious question: if you tried that shit with some woman who turned out to be very much not into that, what would you do? Whine about how bitches lie and entrap men when you find yourself facing charges?

It's not a serious question at all, just a loaded one to smuggle in "whine" and "yourself facing charges" as if guilt is presupposed and any defense unmerited and illegitimate.

Begin an answer with "no," and it sounds like you're conceding that you're guilty and did something wrong. Begin an answer with "yes," and it sounds like you're admitting that you're a whiner whose best defense is attempting to claim that "bitches lie and entrap men."

The boy/man moving things along without explicitly asking the girl/woman is often a prerequisite for heterosexual courtship, including things more mundane than light-BDSM such as a kiss. An unwanted kiss could be considered criminal (sexual) battery, assault, and/or harassment, the combination of which depending on jurisdiction. You can ask yourself:

Serious question: if you kissed some woman who turned out to be very much not into that, what would you do? Whine about how bitches lie and entrap men when you find yourself facing charges?

That indeed sometimes happens, as I lampshaded with my consideration of "men exaggerating." What also happens is men hating on the experiences of other men to protect their own egos and the Wonderfulness of women.

Sneer noted, but I am neither jealous of your sexual experiences nor trying to protect the Wonderfulness of women. You are kind of like early Kulak, in that I am not sure how seriously to take you and whether you are just playing a character in preparation for taking your act on the road (to Twitter).

I'm aware of such white-washing attempts to salvage women's rape fantasies, even if the white-washed version still lies outside the Overton window in popular discourse.

I don't think the "white-washed version" (that women fantasize about being dominated and ravished by a man they were already attracted to) is outside the Overton window in popular discourse. It is outside the range of acceptable discourse in feminist circles, but we weren't talking about those, were we? The Rhett Butler/Scarlett Ohara staircase scene is something everyone instinctively understands even if feminists call it rape.

...fantasize about it so strongly and frequently that they admit it in a study. I don't doubt there's a non-zero number of women who don't have rape fantasies. However, seeing as light-BDSM is well, lighter, than rape—the 31% to 62% is a floor for the proportion of women who are turned on by light-BDSM (or heavier).

I don't know what the actual percentage is and how each individual woman would qualify what she is turned on by. What I am disputing is the extrapolation you are making, from "most women like being dominated and get turned on by a little rough play" to "women like being raped."

It's not a serious question at all, just a loaded one to smuggle in "whine" and "yourself facing charges" as if guilt is presupposed and any defense unmerited and illegitimate.

No, it was a serious question. Granted, I don't think you're serious, and no, I don't believe your claims that you go straight for choking, spitting and smacking and every woman likes it.

Serious question: if you kissed some woman who turned out to be very much not into that, what would you do? Whine about how bitches lie and entrap men when you find yourself facing charges?

Sure, I'll give you a serious answer. If I am kissing a woman who didn't want to be kissed, I've made a pretty serious error in judgment. Supposing I tried the Humphrey Bogart "forceful kiss" and miscalculated, if I were then facing charges, either I done fucked up (how do you try to a kiss a woman who is so not into it that she presses charges?) or I should stay away from BPD chicks. Would I whine about it? Well, I'd probably feel pretty disgruntled about trying to stick my dick in crazy and it backfiring, but you can simultaneously acknowledge that women aren't all wonderful and also that you should probably be pretty sure someone you kiss (or choke or spit on or beat) will be into it.