site banner

Culture War Roundup for the week of May 11, 2026

This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.

Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.

We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:

  • Shaming.

  • Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.

  • Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.

  • Recruiting for a cause.

  • Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.

In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:

  • Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.

  • Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.

  • Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.

  • Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.

On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.

5
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day." Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by." Upon being told, the President asked, "Same hen every time?" The reply was, "Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time." President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

Source

Even if you’re a man who likes casual sex with a variety of partners, surely you’d prefer to have like a new fwb every few months as opposed to having one night stand after one stand night? It takes time for two people to get into a good rhythm and learn what feels go for each other, and you’re unlikely to have great sex if you’re doing it with a different person each time.

Some people enjoy the pursuit/novelty-factor, though how that actually correlates to the sex itself can be all over the place. I'm currently married but went through a looot of online dates in the year or so before I met my now-wife, and like most of the really pleasant memories I have of that period were more of 'something cool happened on the date' than direct sexual acts. But maybe I'm a wild romantic or something.

Shouldn't be an issue day-to-day if your wife is attractive.

This is a common misperception, that a guy with an attractive wouldn't get tired of sex with her. Not so. Men with a 9 will mess with 5s just to keep things interesting.

"Show me a hot woman, and I'll show you a man who's tired of f***** her"

If they have a genuine 9, then there is something wrong with them if they are tired of fucking her. It would be very weird to hear someone with a 9 wife who is 22 who is genuinely tired of fucking her just because they have been together since she was a teenager.

This implies that there’s a linear scale of attractiveness that’s the single only factor that makes having sex with someone enjoyable. Someone that’s physically attractive can be awful in bed, unenthusiastic, or incompatible with you for whatever reason.

I know from experience. Well, that is to say, if you can get tired of an 8, there's no reason you wouldn't get tired of a 9. It's on a spectrum. I don't think experience "gets over a hump" so to speak at which point you're fine with the same person forever.