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I mean this is definitely not the US; what are Sweden's parenting norms? I know it's illegal to hit your kids there, and they genuinely helicopter parent less. I've heard that, like the rest of the nordics, there Are Issues with CPS. But what does the average Swede think they need in order to have kids?
From my PoV what the average Swede thinks they need in order to have kids is full time employment (which in many/most cases means a finished degree/post graduate degree as well) and being established in their respective careers for both parents and owning a sufficiently large home, likely a house, in a sufficiently decent area (IE. Not one with a ton of crime) and obviously a longterm relationship.
This means that you at the earliest would look at having children at about age 25. Many do not finish their degrees by that age, for many reasons, and housing is unaffordable in major metropolitan regions which pushes that date back significantly.
If you're in Stockholm this likely means you're only going to be ready at some point in your early thirties, unless you get a lot of money from your parents, assuming you have a longterm partner that is. This tracks relatively well with the age of first time mothers.
If people could choose freely I think people would have their first kid in their late 20s on average.
As for parenting norms i believe things are far more relaxed than what they seem to be in the US, that I have insight into anyway (coastal "elite"). Kids are out playing on their own all the time, both in urban and suburban areas. Parents aren't expected to arrange and drive their kids to playdates much beyond starting school. What is expected, at least for the middle class (but I assume for everyone but the lumpen proles), is to have your kids attend various kinds of activities like soccer and drive your kids to practice and games.
I personally never felt like the expectations placed on parents were that excessive. I think my parents generation had it worse with parental neuroticism and radical belief in tabula rasaism. Then again, that might be more my parents and where I grew up than a general thing.
To me the issue is the time it takes for people's lives to get started, which is a combination of too much education and too expensive housing. I refuse to believe that the price of housing increasing in real terms by some 500-600% the last 30 years had nothing to do with delayed family formation.
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Sure, I hear they have better maternity leave than the US. I've also heard that Japan has been at least beginning to ask their people to form families.
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