The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Sigh.
I went to a speed dating event that wasn't the one that checks vaccination status. It's been a year, the last time I tried one I ran into a bit of "men are all such trash, amirite?" and one woman who'd been to multiple events and was annoyed she kept on seeing the same guys. I didn't tell her maybe those guys are also disappointed to see her again. Obviously I didn't match with anyone, no shock, not much disappointment.
This time the most political thing I encountered was someone being an anti-nuclear de-growth-er. So no real complaint on that end.
I also had that same feeling I get when I go to a gamestore or some other geek event: "I'm the coolest guy here. That is not a good sign." A lot of lumpy faces and bad haircuts.
Three good conversations, three fine ones, and three eh ones.
After the event, two of my good conversations stopped me to chat. Apparently I was the "most normal" guy they'd talked to, my conversations were great. Also mentioned one guy who got way too handsy; including thigh touching. According to the bartender he's a frequent flier. So either he's not being reported, or the organizers have a high threshold for banning.
And of course, even with that tier of competition, no matches for me. My suspicion that no one ever actually winds up meeting anyone at these events is nigh-confirmed. I don't know why women even bother going to these if even the "best" guy there is apparently insufficient.
Another mildly interesting note was two women both mentioning being in a book club and being fatigued/annoyed that every book was smutty. Typically bringing up books gets me the JKR is a Disgusting Bigot line.
From far away, this sounds like a decent result. Not ideal, obviously, but way better than the last speed dating event I went to. It sounds like it's worth going a few more times FWIW.
The lack of "Men Are All Such Trash Amirite?" was reassuring, but I've gotten pretty tired of hearing how great I am and still not being deemed worthy. Feels like being called a Nice Guy, and that's just 2012 all over again.
I get that. To me it seems you at least have an opening, and a few more visits might produce either a girl who's organically interested in you, or enough practice/experience to get out of the Nice Guy filter.
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