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Notes -
According to pew research, Men do feel the pressures of masculinity as mentioned, and they are punished more by society for stepping out the gender expectations. (And yes, women do have the whole "expectations to an involved parent" situation, but I'd wager thats more for a person already in the parenthood position - not having the kids itself.)
The primary point of what bothers me here is this: If you want to remove gendered roles and expectations, ok, we can discuss that (not something I'd agree with but still). But it seems to me that many don't want to be rid of the "patriarchy" and gender norms in reality. Switzerland, for example, had an opportunity to remove the draft via ballot measure, it failed. People like gender norms when it benefits them (or when they benefit women), and actively dislike them when they hurt them (or women). It basically ends in a situation where mens rights are up for grabs, while womens are off limits, because reasons.
Its "justifiable" if you look at it from a fairness standpoint. Either everyone has gendered roles and expectations or no one does.
And for the record here, I'm not in agreement with any crazy islamic style patriarchy, if thats your primary concern.
Funny enough, that's just the concept of "toxic masculinity". It's a stupid name but it's literally just about masculine gender roles and how they lock men into having to always play the hero and hide their human vulnerability and complaints.
Of course, in practice the concept of "toxic masculinity" is usually limited to just those expressions of masculine gender roles that the analyst finds toxic rather than those the men they are addressing do. Which conveniently allows them to lock men into "always playing the hero and hiding their human vulnerability and complaints" while claiming not to. EDIT: The goal of those who talk about "toxic masculinity" is never to liberate men, but to coerce them into behavior more beneficial to the speaker.
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