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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2257 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for May 22, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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How do you get into the kitchen, through the master suite?

I don't get it. What does the stairway have to do with the façade?

In your plan, nothing. But if the stairway touches the external wall, it has to fit between the window openings.

But if the stairway touches the external wall, it has to fit between the window openings.

You could have a window in the stairwell, offset vertically if necessary to have it a reasonable height off the floor.

offset vertically

And this is precisely what I try to avoid.

Have you tried making the house deeper than eight meters? I'd be surprised if there were any actual colonial houses of such modest dimensions.

I also find it amusing that the colonial house plan is now colonizing Rus'.

It's colonizing me personally, no one's building them here. It's all "Mikea" clones if it has one floor and "Wright style" if it has two (and I hope you can wrap some copper wire around ol' Frank's body for some free electricity, because it's always a gloomy brick-clad cube with vertical accents).

And I can't make the house too deep, or it will be too big. I have a great 10.4x10.8 floor plan, and I want to see if I can squish it into a more oblong rectangle.

As an architecture fan I'd be interested if you could find any pictures of what you're describing, and if you're really generous letting me feel free to use those terms if I find them apt. Especially since I'm guessing the "Wright Style" has only the most superficial resemblance to anything actually designed by Wright.

The pseudo-Wright style has low-pitched hipped roofs with large overhangs from the Prairie School, but that's about it. Wright famously built houses that sprawled across large lots, but when your lots are all small and flat, what can you do? The most common pseudo-Wright house is a two-storey box with a Prairie-style roof. How do you make a box look more premium? You add some vertical elements to the facade that span two floors. Maybe it's a massive window in a double-height living room, or some pilasters, or you carefully align the windows on the two floors and two different materials to create strong vertical motifs.

/images/17795227980223565.webp

So, the "Mikea" was originally a series of homes designed by a company in St. Petersburg that were 100% compatible with Ikea furniture. Not the most useful idea, but they stumbled upon a style that looked modern without being modernist, while at the same time being relatively easy to build:

  • a simple rectangle in shape with a low-angle gabled roof
  • white rendered walls with some larch planks for decoration
  • large floor-to-ceiling windows with anthracite or wood-colored frames
  • anthracite-colored standing-seam metal on the roof

A super popular style these days.

/images/17795208136517427.webp

What does it mean to be compatible with IKEA furniture? Standing seam roofs are truly a Faustian bargain of giving up aesthetics in return for durability.

It means that all internal dimensions are adjusted to fit standard IKEA furniture. Like, if there's a gap between the edge of the doorway and the wall designed for a bookcase, a Billy will fit in there perfectly. They had a furniture plan for each room that was like: a Malm bed with two Strorklinta nighstands, a Storklinta dresser opposite etc. Wasn't really a big selling point they wanted it to be, but the visual design of the house itself was a hit.

Standing seam roofs are truly a Faustian bargain of giving up aesthetics in return for durability.

Not really. The most common roof material here is corrugated iron. Either simply corrugated or corrugated to resemble ceramic tiles. Standing seam sheets (of the snap-lock variety) are a fancy minimalist alternative that is easy to install on a simple gabled roof. I don't think they look bad, especially when matte. About as ugly as asphalt shingles.

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How do you get into the kitchen? Through the master suite?

The line between the dining room and the kitchen does not represent a wall.

And that's exactly what I've been trying to avoid: pathways that lead through the foyer. I want it to be semi-contained: there's the front door, maybe the door to the utility room, the door that leads to the rest of the house. No through indoor traffic.

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