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Friday Fun Thread for May 22, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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One floor plan that I can't get right is a five-bay colonial with a mudroom-style entrance. Traditional foyers are designed for people who have no coats or wet boots or kids that track dirt everywhere.

I am looking at something like 13.2x8 or 12.8x8.4m (so that the footprint of the house is around 100m2). But no matter how I try, I can't design a staircase that feels natural without interrupting the regularity of the facade.

One floor plan that I can't get right is a five-bay colonial with a mudroom-style entrance. I am looking at something like 13.2 m × 8 m or 12.8 m × 8.4 m (so that the footprint of the house is around 100 m2).

Extremely lazy spitball sketch (though possibly a bit too big)

But, no matter how I try, I can't design a staircase that feels natural without interrupting the regularity of the façade.

I don't get it. What does the stairway have to do with the façade?

Traditional foyers are designed for people who have no coats or wet boots or kids that track dirt everywhere.

Just add a closet under the stairway, and/or a wardrobe next to the wall.

How do you get into the kitchen, through the master suite?

I don't get it. What does the stairway have to do with the façade?

In your plan, nothing. But if the stairway touches the external wall, it has to fit between the window openings.

But if the stairway touches the external wall, it has to fit between the window openings.

You could have a window in the stairwell, offset vertically if necessary to have it a reasonable height off the floor.

offset vertically

And this is precisely what I try to avoid.

Have you tried making the house deeper than eight meters? I'd be surprised if there were any actual colonial houses of such modest dimensions.

I also find it amusing that the colonial house plan is now colonizing Rus'.

It's colonizing me personally, no one's building them here. It's all "Mikea" clones if it has one floor and "Wright style" if it has two (and I hope you can wrap some copper wire around ol' Frank's body for some free electricity, because it's always a gloomy brick-clad cube with vertical accents).

And I can't make the house too deep, or it will be too big. I have a great 10.4x10.8 floor plan, and I want to see if I can squish it into a more oblong rectangle.

As an architecture fan I'd be interested if you could find any pictures of what you're describing, and if you're really generous letting me feel free to use those terms if I find them apt. Especially since I'm guessing the "Wright Style" has only the most superficial resemblance to anything actually designed by Wright.

So, the "Mikea" was originally a series of homes designed by a company in St. Petersburg that were 100% compatible with Ikea furniture. Not the most useful idea, but they stumbled upon a style that looked modern without being modernist, while at the same time being relatively easy to build:

  • a simple rectangle in shape with a low-angle gabled roof
  • white rendered walls with some larch planks for decoration
  • large floor-to-ceiling windows with anthracite or wood-colored frames
  • anthracite-colored standing-seam metal on the roof

A super popular style these days.

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